Should I contact my ex

I'm going to be honest with you, and if you listen, this may change your life.

Looks are nothing.

When a girl is younger, or if a girl is shallow, then looks are important, but, even though you may start dating someone for their looks, you don't stay with them for that reason. She didn't dump you because she wasn't attracted to you. If she wasn't attracted she never would have dated you to begin with. She dumped you because you didn't click, or because of your personality.

I don't know you, I haven't met you, but just based on your post alone, I'd say your personality needs some work. Why? Because you came to a site, posted your attributes, even how much you can bench press. You're vain. You wanted people to come here and say "you're hot".

Stop worrying so much about what's on the outside. Your appearance will change your entire life. Worry about what's on the inside.

I was quite pretty when I was younger, did some modelling, and never had a lack of male attention. I'm 41 now. I'm not ugly, but I definitely don't have the body and face I did 20 years ago.

When I met my husband a lot of people asked me why I was dating him. He's not ugly, but he's not gorgeous, until you get to know him. I fell in love with him because of who he is. He makes me laugh, he's smart, he's compassionate, he loves animals, he's my best friend. When I look at him I see the most stunning man on this earth. Even better, he looks at me, a woman that's had 2 children, has aged, and isn't nearly as pretty as she was when we met at the age of 19, but he still thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on earth. Why? Because like him, I also have a great personality. I was never just a pretty face to him. I was so much more.

What you look like doesn't matter. Who you are does.

I have to disagree with Alty, it seems to me that you are insecure. Maybe that has something to do with why she dumped you.

I agree with Alty...she's spot on with her assessment. How old are you Caspi?

In his original post he said he was 23 and a bit of a Adonis; but with man-boobs and a belly.

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Relationships end for so many reasons and the reason you have is rarely the right reason. You're done. It's over. Accept it and move on.

A lot of people, as alty said, don't focus on looks. They focus the person as a whole. Sometimes people kinda but don't really click. It happens. You will go through many people before you find the one.

You are vain, or at least you sound it. You should tone that back a little.

OP is 23....I meant how old was caspi....their comment appears to be from a fairly young person. Most people start to out grow that perspective about the time they start becoming adults.....(however a few are like that their entire lives).

I feel that from your message, you seem to lack confidence in yourself. Getting dumped can be a big blow to your confidence, but look at it this way, there are 7 billion other people out there. Don't let 1 person bring you down this way.

I have no idea how you look since I don't see any pictures, but looks really aren't everything. You can be very good looking and it may help you attract some girls, but if you lack confidence, it's going to hurt you in any long term relationship as well as life and in your career.

Besides, everyone has different taste, so who are we to judge if you're attractive or not?

What perspective?

No person is ugly. Every person is whole, perfect and complete. Just be yourself. You are beautiful, attractive and tempting, as everyone is. There are blinds, limps and even deafs-dumbs, who have takers. Just be confident. You must consult some psychologist if you lack it. Motivate yourself.

so my ex dumpped me over email after we went out for 3 years and she said that i was the one and that she wanted to marry me blah blah blah. any tips to make this break up the hardest on her than ever because it hurt me so much. oh by the way she started dating a guy that i told her was chasing her for 2 years.

The best thing to do is act like a real man and move on.