I'm in a 1 1/2 yr long distance relationship and we try to see each other every 2-3 weeks.. lately, we've been experiencing some relationship issues just like any other couples out there. My boyfriend and I decided to talk about our relationship and whether or not we are still on the same page -but its been very awkward during this time because we our phone/text have substantially been too casual and I just couldn't express my real feelings for him anymore until this issue gets resolved. We sat down and talked 2 weeks ago but the result was very frustrating - we couldn't agree with each other...he mentioned that maybe if we live together, our communication will be a lot better...he also said that he is afraid of the possibility of me not liking the city because I might not enjoy my job, etc... I am currently a graduate student and have 1 1/2 years left to go.. I am considering moving to his city and trasferring to the university there but I'm not sure if this is the right move..
The outcome of the conversation didn't turn out very well and we decided to give each other some time (2 weeks) to think things through and reconvene. I am about to see him this weekend and am unsure what to do...I wanted to make this relationship work and I want to be with him - a big decision to do since it entails moving away from career, family, and friends...
last week, I found out that he has been flirting with women he met at a bar through texts...he apologized to me and said it was wrong and he shouldn't have done it...
He is normally a good boyfriend but he just couldn't ask me directly what he wants from me..so I'm thinking of stepping up to the plate and tell him that I wanted to be with him (move with him). I spoke with his best friend today and was told that he didn't know about what's happening since my boyfriend is very reserved and doesn't share his personal problems very much. Although he said that my boyfriend is very happy with the relationship and is happy with me (last time they talked was about 2 months ago).

. advise if talking to him and asking him if I can be with him is the right thing to do...I am confused because for the past 2 weeks, he has been very cold to me...

Thank you for all your support and advise...much appreciated!

confused111

I forgot to mention, if age factors at all - he is turning 30 and I'm turning 27...

liz28

If communication is lacking now then is going be lacking if you move there. If the two of you are unable to talk about things now nothing is going change unless the both of you start opening up.

If he is acting cold and distance towards you the relationship might be comming to an end unless he starts opening up and expressing his feelings/thoughts to you.

Call him and find out what is wrong. Say something like "I notice you been a little distance lately ____". Don't start your sentences with "You" because it sounds accusing.

I wish

Normally, we would say, communication is key. You've been there, done that. Both of you laid out your positions but you can't see eye to eye.

I'm sorry to say this, but this is the sign of the beginning of the end. Your first choice is to stay in your current city to finish your program right? It's never a good idea to sacrifice your schooling for a relationship. Seeing each other every 2-3 weeks is very good for a long distance relationship.

Keep trying to talk it out. Both of you need patience. You have 1 1/2 more year to go. But if you don't see any progress, then maybe it's time to call it quits.