I have been with my bf for 2 years and I love him very much. The problem is that a supposed ex-gf is claiming that she is pregnant with my bf's child. I don't know what to do I'm totally confused, I do trust and love him way to much to leave him just like that. This girl seems to be obsessed with my bf and he never went for her, and now that he is with me she is extremely jealous and frustrated, that I feel she has recurred to invent a pregnancy.
Please give me advice on how to deal with this situation.....It's so hard!!!! How do I find out the truth...........I can get a DNA test in 9 mo if she really is but she has dissapeared from the face of the earth and I have no idea where she could be.
I know this might be stupid, because my bf and I are having unprotected sex and he refuses to use a condom, and I stopped taking birth control because I'm afraid of gaining weight or getting spots on my face. I'm scared of having a baby with him, and later find out that everything was true. On the other hand I would love to have a baby but not in this cloud of doubt and confusion. I'm extremely confused PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
P.S. Any suggestions, break up, give it time, trust hin, lie detector test, try to locate the other girl and find out if it's true.
If he is not willing to use protection to have sex, then he really don't care for you that much, Honestly.
I would say move on, he does not respect you, having sex with others, then wanting unprotected sex with you ( who knows what you can get, I would be tested right away)
But leave him and find someone that will respect you.
Back away from the situation for a little bit. Clear your head. Things are too complex and there are too many unanswered questions. Do not worry whether or not the ex-girlfriend is truthful or not. Do not worry whether your boyfriend is truthful or not. The only thing you should be worried about is yourself. It is not selfish - it is self preservation.
Instead of worrying about someone elses problem, take care of you as having unprotected sex can have you in a situation you may not be ready for. Leave everyone elses problems alone and worry about your own.
Thank you all for your advice, and I do think I should take sometime for myself and leave all this confusion behind me, because it's not worth so much pain and emotional distress.
I know this might be stupid, because my bf and I are having unprotected sex and he refuses to use a condom, and I stopped taking birth control because I'm afraid of gaining weight or getting spots on my face. I'm scared of having a baby with him, and later find out that everything was true. On the other hand I would love to have a baby but not in this cloud of doubt and confusion. I'm extremely confused PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
This part of your post worries me the most. Why are you gambling with your life? Why is he refusing to use condoms? Please get yourself and your boyfriend tested. Gaining weight and getting spots on your face are worse than bringing an unwanted baby into this world?! No, it is not wise to have a baby in the middle of this situation.
About the other woman claiming to have your boyfriend's baby: You said that you trust him so then leave it at that. But, from this post, I can tell you are not completely convinced that this woman may be lying so I suspect that there is more to this than what you posted. If you have reason to distrust you boyfriend (even a gut feeling is enough), please think about what you are doing. Why would you take a gamble like this (with your emotional and physical health)? Like others have said, back up and think clearly about what you are doing.
Please take care of yourself first. Whatever his reasons for not using a condom may be, none of them are more important than your health. The only way you should agree to having unprotected sex is after you both get tested and are clean, and you both stay monogamous to each other. (If you're not ready to get pregnant, you can then use the pill).
The reason he sayss that he doesn't want to use a condom is because he wants to feel me without a condom and be able to come inside of me. My bf says that it doesn't feel the same with a comdom on, and I don't know what to tell him so will use it. He was my.....1st....so he says what should I worry about if I haven't been with anyone else. The times that I have had uprotected sex I took the after morning pill. That worked, but those pills are very expensive for every oops you have. Then I began to take birth control in Feb 07 and I stopped the bc pill the last week of feb, because I thought I was pregnant. I had uprotected sex again in March 07 and luckily I still had hormones in my system from the previous month. Even though I had a feeling I was pregnant because I was 5 days late but I then got my period. but like you said I can't be gambling wiith my health and my well being.
He was my.....1st....so he says what should I worry about if I haven't been with anyone else.
What?! If he was your first, then HE has nothing to worry about, not the other way around, Mystic!
I already told you what I think about his excuses (and the one he is giving you now is the most selfish and lamest excuse in the book!) in my other post so I'm not going to preach to you.
The more you are telling me, the more underlying problems I'm starting to see. You must not think your own life is worth much if you are risking your own health so he can have more pleasure. Please take some time to figure out what is going on with YOU.
Again, I strongly advise against bringing a baby into this situation so please use your head and think before you act to please him.
The more you explain the less I trust this guy. Getting you pregnant and dependant on him is what I think is going on, and him being your first means you have no experience, and are totaly blinded by him. Sorry thats just the way its looking to me. Use protection.
I know your right!!! I have to think about myself first because I do think he is being selfish just so he feels more pleasure, and I don't think it's fair. I guess I just go with the fow because I am so in love with him. But I have to see past that because I might get pregnant, and I'm not even ready mentally, emotionally and financially. I'm going to talk to him and tell him if he cares and loves me like he says then he wil use a condom to protect me and prevent a pregnancy because were not ready. I rather be completely ready for a baby, then being unprepared and bringing a child into the world in these circumstances.
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