 | | | Should I break up with my girlfriend?
Asked Jan 23, 2008, 09:57 PM
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45 Answers So, today I found out some stuff about my girlfriend that kind of hit me pretty hard. After my girlfriend and I had been dating for a little while, she asked me why I still had my "hotornot" account still active. I told her that I just hadn't got around to deleting it. She said that she had already deleted hers, and she thought it was pretty weird that I had mine still. So, I logged in and saw that she did in fact delete hers. I went ahead and deleted mine as well, as I had no use for it. Well, I ended up finding that she has since re activated her "hotornot" account and didn't even let me know. Not only that, but I found out that she is talking to her ex boyfriend when we are not together. I found this out because she had paid her cell bill on my comp once, and never signed out. I saw that she has been texting him, as well as talking to him for long periods of time sometimes for over an hour! She of course fails to mention this also, and it looks like all of the calls/texts are happening when we are not together. The thing is that she acts like my girlfriend and everything I.e. Very affectionate, telling me that I'm great and that I'm cute. It seems as though she is happy to be with me. I don't even know how I feel right now cause I'm kind of shocked. I'm not sure what to do. I want to break up with her becuse I don't feel as though its fair for me, as well as the fact that trust is coming into play. Any advice on how I should handle this situation?
Thread Summary |
45 Answers
 | Ultra Member | |
Jan 23, 2008, 10:10 PM
| | | Don't jump to conslusions yet. I know, that's like asking the impossible right now. Lol
But before you make up your mind to dump her, try talking to her about it. A lot of the time, when I'm talking to my ex, its actually because we're good friends now and I need his advice on something. And sometimes I will bug the crap out of him for an hour. Lol he hates it when I ask for advice with w/e new guy I'm seeing, but he still helps me if I need it. So its not fair to assume she's doing anything wrong until you've talked to her. Then you have to take things from there. | | | | Junior Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 01:17 AM
| | | I'd say don't jump to conclusions either...but trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. My opinion is that if you are unable to trust someone, you shouldn't be with them. | | |  | Senior Family & People Expert | |
Jan 24, 2008, 07:16 AM
| | |
What does she say about it? | | |  | Junior Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 12:13 PM
| | | Talk to her.
What's a relationship without communication? | | |  | Ultra Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 12:20 PM
| | | Hmm...talking to the ex, in my opinion, is a red flag...unless they've been broken up for a long time and have since reconciled as friends.
The reactivation of the hotornot account + talking to the ex screams "needs attention"...perhaps she needs attention from people to confirm that she's attractive and wanted. I'd talk to the woman. Lay it out there. If she explains it, great. If she gets extremely defensive, well...there's your answer. | | | | Junior Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 01:38 PM
| | | Thanks for all of the advice guys! So, I invited my girlfriend over last night because I just couldn't stand it anymore. I told her that I knew about the hotornot account, and she said sha accidentally did it when she was trying to check and see if I had re activated mine. Because that was the smaller of the two issues, I accepted her explanation. I then proceeded to ask her if she was being completely honest with me about everything, and she said no. I asked what she was being dishonest about (even though I already knew) and she said that she had been talking with her ex. I asked her why and she said that she had text him once just to see how he was doing and they started talking from there. SHe said that she is confused because she wants to be with me, but she thinks she may still have feelings for him, but is unsure. She said that she truly wants to be with me, but this is in the way. I thought about it for a bit, and I decided to end it with her for the time being. I mean, I didn't want to wait around, and have it end up with her leaving me and being with him. I did because I care about her so much, that it hurt to be with her because of what was going on. I just feel like if I don't talk to her and leave it alone, she may realize that she wants to be with me? I don't know if I did the right thing or not? On the one hand, I don't want to be hurt, but on the other I want her to know that I want to be with her so much. I just need some really great advice on my situation. | | | | Junior Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 01:52 PM
| | | I think what you did was the best move. This way she has time to herself to figure out what she wants and you do not set yourself up for disaster down the road. My advice to you is keep you head held high and not to burn any bridges. | | | | Ultra Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 01:56 PM
| | | At least this way, you took control of the situation. If you didn't in about a week or two, you would have ended up on this site again saying MY EX WANTED SOME SPACE...WHAT DO I DO? | | |  | Senior Member | |
Jan 24, 2008, 02:06 PM
| | | I think what you did was right. It is good to give her space to decide what she wants. Just be up front about it. Tell her, "Hey, I love you and care about you. I understand that you need time. I just want you to know that I am here for you."
That way she knows where you stand.
Sorry that you guys broke up! | | |
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