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    dilly's Avatar
    dilly Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 30, 2006, 11:06 PM
    Should I answer his calls
    My ex and I have been broken up for a few months now and I am not over him. He continues to call me to talk and find out how I am, and to tell me what's up with him. He has even told me he is seeing someone, so I don't understand why he even bothers calling. It hurts so much to talk to him. Should I take his calls when I know I'm not over him, and I know he is over me, and that he just wants to be friends. Some friends have told me to ignore him, and I occasionally do this, but I have on many occasions taken his call and I always hurt during and after. But I feel that I am for some reason continuing to wrack my brain as to whether I should take the call. Why can't I make up my mind. I told him when we broke up that I wouldn't call him anymore, and I don't, so is he being a jerk and playing games. I feel stupid because part of me says this shouldn't be an issue and that it should be easier to just not pick up the phone. Please any advice would do.
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #2

    Aug 30, 2006, 11:51 PM
    I would'nt, and it seems you know you should NOT pick up either. Smart move! The only reason he is calling is to see if he still has you all messed up. Don't fall for it!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #3

    Aug 31, 2006, 12:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dilly
    Some friends have told me to ignore him, and I occasionally do this, but i have on many occasions taken his call and i always hurt during and after.
    Hi there and welcome to AMHD.

    Read your sentence above.
    Now, why keep answering his calls if you yourself said you always hurt during and after. You cause more pain to yourself. This way you are hardly going to get over him.

    This decission of keeping in contact seems like it wasn't a mutual decission, just his, which is very unfair on you. He is about and about getting on with life, sort I'm happy so f**K you Jack.. Heard of that saying!

    So please, I would change your mob number if he calls on your mob. Or if you don't want to do that, when he rings, pick up the call, be firm and tell him to STOP calling you, as you are not bothered to speak to him no more. But only do this if you know you can be strong and firm about it.
    When and if you do this, afterwards you probably break down and cry.. but consider them your last tears for this selfish ex of yours :)

    Good Luck.
    starlite's Avatar
    starlite Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 31, 2006, 05:10 AM
    Wisest thing is not to answer, if it hurts you, which evidently it will! Why you torture yourself by talking to him, since he has already moved on in his life, the new girlfriend I mean... then you should move on too by cloing his chapter for good
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Aug 31, 2006, 05:35 AM
    By Krs,
    This decission of keeping in contact seems like it wasn't a mutual decission, just his, which is very unfair on you. He is about and about getting on with life, sort I'm happy so f**K you Jack.. Heard of that saying!
    Stop going down his one-way street. No contact. YOU deserve to heal just as he has, don't you?
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #6

    Aug 31, 2006, 05:51 AM
    She definitely does Tal.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #7

    Aug 31, 2006, 06:02 AM
    Contact after a break up is almost always mindgames. Games take two to tango. Participate if you like but then don't complain later about it being a game.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #8

    Aug 31, 2006, 11:14 AM
    QUIT all contact. He is toying with you. That's kind of sick.

    Why on earth would he mention another women.

    Do not take his calls.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #9

    Aug 31, 2006, 03:59 PM
    As krs said, I think the answer to yor question lies in your own post.

    You say after each call you take from him that it hurts you.

    ENOUGH SAID. STOP taking his calls.

    I know it is hard and you must think that each time he calls he is ringing to ask you back and confess his love for you. I understand maybe you thinking and hopoing that. But it isn't happening is it.

    He is ringing to see if he still has you... and by you answering his calls all the time it proves to him that he does.

    For your own good you need to stop answering his calls and move on.

    Find some other things to do to help get over him. Join a gym, workout, run, more school, work harder, casually date others and meet new people.

    It is hard but it will get better. But while you keep answering his calls you are only punishing yourself!
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #10

    Aug 31, 2006, 11:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dilly
    It hurts so much to talk to him.
    The others have given you good advice.

    I just wish to point out that statement which you made.

    If it hurts to talk to him, then do NOT do it.

    Just let the phone go to the machine, screen your calls. After a while he will stop calling.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #11

    Sep 1, 2006, 04:16 PM
    I'd not answer his calls. I'd be done and finished with him, period. You need to understand it's over and move on. Right now you're letting him have his cake and eat it too and that's not really fair to you. He wants to be broken up, so broken up you are. The less contact you have with him the easier and more quick it'll be getting over him.

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