OK, so last night after a get together I was feeling hungry. I asked my boyfriend if he could take me to get some food. He obliged. On the way to the car he asks MY friend would she like anything. No problem there except I did not see her give him any money. He gets in the car and mentions to me she wants something and I tell him "where is her money?" he says he's treating. In my head I'm thinking "ok, dinner is on him." we get to the restaurant and when our order comes up he pays for his and her meal but leaves me to pay for my own. I was more than all right footing my own bill but if you are going to volunteer to treat MY friend, I think its safe to assume he is going to treat me, his woman. I can not shake the anger I am feeling inside and am wondering am I right to feel this way. I have not mentioned it to him.

How long have you been together for?
How did it work for all the other dates you've had with him?
Who normally pays?
Do you normally split?
How old are you?

We need more information.

However, I think it's safe to say that you should just confront him about it.

I agree more info is needed.

But at any age the guy has no class.

Holy crap what a douchebag.

Okay, so "douchebag" might be a bit strong. MAYBE.

Ask him why he thought it was polite to pay for your friend's dinner but not yours.

Or maybe he's just totally ignorant & clueless. It's true: some people are just genuinely stupid.

I also want to know how long you have been dating.

If its been a good long while, I would bring it up to him, let him know how it made you feel. Remember HONESTY is BEST in any relationship.

Even if it has only been a short while being together, I would still bring it to him and let him know how it made you feel. It could have been a simple oversight. If you have only been dating a short while he may feel uncomfratable paying for you, especially if you were independent before you dated him. Women's lib hit hard ;) hehe. Some men take it too far without thinking of it.

Until you let him know how it made you feel (in a NICE communicating way, not attacking him) he won't know what went wrong. You know/>

Over a year now. He's done things like this in the past. Last night was just the straw to break the camel's back as they say. For instance I have a messy roommate. I told my roommate she needed to clear the sink of her dirty dishes so that way I could wash mines. She procrastinated and ignored the situation and then he goes and washes all her dishes and then leaves mine there for me to wash. I'm like ! If you felt like doing some dishes, mine should be the ones you wash not hers. I know it sounds selfish but that's my man... I'm just saying...

How do you go get something to eat with out asking YOUR friend if she wanted something? That was tacky, at best. It wasn't your b/f's place to take care of your friend, and I think his point was, being polite.

Sorry, but this hold thing would have been avoided had you thought of YOUR friend, or even been considerate enough that its just bad manners to not even see if she had any money. Or maybe taking her home before you got something to eat.

There is enough blame to go around as you never should have put him, or your friend in a position like that.

Courtesy demands that you at least see what the deal is with everyone, to prevent such situations like this.

Rude of you, and what were you accomplishing by excluding her, that's some friend.

The more information you give us, the worse it sounds. He seems very inconsiderate of you.

After a year, you should have a much better communication system than that. Have you ever confronted him about your concerns? What does he say? How does he react?

Perhaps if she were a guest. She is a roommate and is quite capable of feeding herself. She is not my responsibility. That is my stance on that.

I think you are making too much a deal about that. Sometimes we (men) don't really think... well a lot of times. Just talk to him, it will be all right. Don't get angry though.

I told him after the dish incident he doesn't need to be concerned with no other persons problem in the house but mine. I'm the only in this house that should matter to him. I also confronted her about that situation and let her know the next time my man takes up her slack I was going to put hands on her. She's been good about giving him 50 feet since then. He asked her last night, she didn't ask him.

I'm sensing a serious lack of effective communication. While it wasn't OK for your roommate to leave a mess, I'm not reading anywhere about her asking him to clean it up. Threatening her seems inappropriate. Your issues should be with him, not with her. Bottom line seems to be that if this is something that is bothering you then you need to go and talk to him about it. NOW.

She did not ask him to wash her dishes but she sure didn't stop him either. I'm feeling I should break up with him...

Well if that's what you feel you should to, then that's what you should do. But I am curious how you'll go about that. Are you just going to tell him it's over? Or are you going to communicate and explain why you're not happy? It's not fair to be angry with him if you're not communicating your feelings. My boyfriend has a bad habit of that. He's getting better. He's learning to communicate. But every now and then suddenly he's angry and I have no idea why. And it'll turn out there was something I was doing (like leaving the computer monitor on when I wasn't using it) that he didn't like. But I had no idea because he didn't say anything until he was so irritated he couldn't stand it. So then he's yelling at me to stop doing something and I'm going OK, why didn't you just say so??

Wonder how every one else feels
People who party together, are supposed to be friends, why even invite her along?

I stick with my original post, YOU could behave better. Its almost like your jealous of her, and trying to prove a point.

What does your boyfriend say about his behavior? Why does he disobey you like that? I would love to know the reason he gives and I think you are threatening the wrong person here, she is just there, but he is the one pissing you off. Why threaten her?
Yeah, get one who obeys your commands, or another room mate.

Angry... no
Concerned... definitely. The way I see it, from what I've been reading from your posts, you've already let it happen too many times to be "angry". The first time you should have let him not. If you let it sit and more incidences accumulate, it looks bad on your part for not saying anything. I understand your jealousy though. If it were my own, I probably would have given him a little tap. But how is your relationship with your roommate? How do you feel about her? Perphaps there are suppressed issues between you and her and your boyfriends tendency to be polite to her brings them out. I think he was being polite in all honesty when he asked if she wanted anything, not when he paid for hers and not yours though. Regarding the time when you were complaining about the dishes, guys don't like to hear girls fighting. They will watch it, but they DETEST hearing it, and so I think to in a sense resolve the conflict he decided to wash her dishes because it didn't seem like she would yield to your request anytime soon. Talk to him. Tell him to be your boyfriend and not hers. Guys may be oblivious like 90 % of the time, but they aren't blind and deaf. No excuse for stupidity

He's a disobedient little puppy and you should find someone that is better equipped to obey your every command and put you on the pedestal you seem to think you belong on.

No, you have no right to be angry.

Yes, you should break up with him, he deserves better.

No he doesn't. He wishes he could find vajayjay this tight and good. After he gets over his broken windshield he will get back.

Broken windshield? Please tell me you're not implying that you broke his windshield in retaliation over this.

Sweetie, vaginas are everywhere.

Sex doesn't keep a man, tight or not. A man would rather be with a kind, sweet, considerate, respectful woman with a "loose" vagina than with a b!tch with a tight one.

Vandalizing his property? Is that what your talking about when your saying "broken windshield"? BOY YOU SURE DO LOVE HIM!


Sarah