Hello Everyone,
This my first time on this site and it has helped me just by reading the comments that you gave to others. Everyones situation is a little different so I decided to sign up. Three weeks ago my girlfriend who I lived with for 5 years told me that she needed time and

space. We broke up 1 time about 2 years ago but reconciled about 4 months after and have been together ever since. Last time we broke up I almost immediately started seeing another woman. I know it's not right but at the time it helped. She was so

heartbroke that she almost had a nervous breakdown. Well this time I decided to take it like a man and deal with all of the pain and emotions and I am literally dying inside and she is actually taking it a lot better. She still misses me and I know it hurts her. I have

lost 10 pounds the first two weeks that I didn't really have to lose in the first place. All I think about is her all day. I poured my heart out which was probably a mistake, and now I am taking advice that I have read. Leave her alone! It is so hard but it's what I am doing.

A few days after we broke up I got 2 tickets to a concert which happens to be an artist that we both like so I asked her to go and she said yes. The concert is tomorrow but I did not call her cuz of the "leave her alone clause" but she called me yesterday so I brought

the concert up. She kinda acted like she was really unsure about going and asked if my new room mate would want to go instead. Already assuming this may happen I asked him and he does not want to go and I told her that. So she said ok I'll go. Should I take her and if I do how should I act. I have moved some of my stuff out but she told me that I

don't have to move everything out right now as it is her house. She says she's not looking for anyone she just needs time. I have other questions and more details but this is an immediate concern as the concert is tomorrow. This goes against the leave her alone advise but she agreed to go. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

talaniman

Since she has accepted you have little choice but to go, and leave the heavy stuff at home, and show her what a fun date you are, and make sure she has the time of her life.

DownNout

I say just go.... hell you bought the ticket. Don't waste it, then go back to your clause. In a similar state and my story is on this board too.

You initiated already, just looks so not smooth imo. You're a Gentleman, be one, you bought the tickets, then go, just don't be so down and what not. Show that you are having fun, it may hurt. You at least you showed her you got what it takes.

Lowtax4eva

I dont think you should have asked her to this concert, it was obvious by telling you to ask your roommate she doesnt really want to go but she still might to be nice, if she's "wanted a break" twice now, how many more times will it happen. I think your idea last time of seeing someone was a better idea.

If you do end up going to this concert with her, if she shows, just act like friends and dont bring up going out all night long. Just see where it goes.

I dunno, those are my thoughts, others may disagree.

SarahKCE

Hi there, what a terrible situation to be in and I undestand how hurt you must be. I'm also going through a painful situation with someone close too. Did you get any idea this was going to happen when she needed some space? Did she give any reasons at the time? I know how hard it is to keep going and stay busy when you're so upset. It would prob be best to find someone else to go with to the concert - if you remind her again she might feel that you're trying to pressurise her into getting back together before she's resolved whatever issue is really bothering her. Good luck

vlee

Ouch! I think since you invited her already you are obligated to take her, but ditch the idea of this being a date or step one to another reconciliation. Go to the show, drop her off at home, call the guys and go out afterward or the next night to get your mind off of her. Keep it casual and try to remember, she is the one who asked for "space", so leave it up to her to bring up the subject of possibly getting back together later on, but in the meantime, LIVE! Do all the things you used to do as a single guy, or take up some new hobbies. People tend to lose themselves in long term relationships. So don't spend your time pining for her, spend it rebuilding yourSELF. She will probably see how different you are and want to be with you again and by then you will not have the interest in going back. Hang in there, it does get better.

Lost Guy

Thanks for the advice. My friends tell me that I need to quit being so predictable. She and I have been going to the same neighborhood pub for years as we have many mutual friends. We basically go once a week and hang out with our friends and blow off a little

steam. She is 44 and I am 41. She was in there last Friday night and I purposely did not get there until late. I called my friend as I always do when I am on the way there and she knows I call him as well. When he hung up the phone she asked him if it was me calling

and he said yes that I would be there in about 20 minutes. She asked him if I said where I was and he said no. She also said that she was going to leave before I arrived there. When I did arrive she was there she was still there. I eventually went to her and gave her

a hug and started to walk off and she asked where I had been. I told her I was just making the rounds and continued to walk off. I could tell by the look on her face that she was worried to some degree over where I had been. She also told a girlfriend of ours twice in the span of 5 minutes that I didn't arrive until really late. She asks for time and

space yet when she knew I was on my way she still stayed. I have to make her emotions come alive as mine are. Should I stay away from this place and just drop off the radar for a while? It has a lot of my friends there which I get some sort of comfort in, but it is really

difficult for me to be there when she is and us basically acting like we don't know each other. Her emotions were coming alive when I wasn't where she thought I should have been. If I didn't show the whole night I think it would have really made her think that

much more. She probably had a great relief when I arrived alone. Sometime it all seems like one big game to me. Also thank you so much for your responses. I really love her with all my heart. I am just trying to make all the right moves to not lose her and get her back asap. She broke my heart into pieces and each piece is still loving her.

Jesushelper76

Did you not already post a similar question already? Have I not answered this before?

Just curious.

missk

You should go to the concert because you both agreed already BUTT!!!!!! I do agree with the Leave Her Alone thing. When you go to the concert-just treat her like a friend-Kill her with Kindness-this really works in the long run if you stick to it. Treat her as if it is your first date. After that-Leave her alone-that is what she asked for give it to her other wise you will push her away. Do not show her you are hurting, do not pour your heart to her right now. Put sticky notes all over your house and your car to remind you to leave her alone. It sounds crazy but it really helps. She will either move on or start to wonder what you are doing and come around but when she does be elusive and like I said kill her with kindness. Stay busy and keep her on her toes. You don't no what you've got till it's gone and you won't know unless you go.

tinsign

Well you cannot very well keep going on the course you have took already..life is short why don't you start meeting other people that enjoy what you do?
The game of playing standoff to me seems childish..as well as the i need space game...i say move on and find someone who knows what they want in life and is truly ready for commitment.
Give her those tickets i certainly would if i was you and tell her to feel free to do as she pleases..tell her you are moving on now