i had a great evening last tuesday. we talked and talked. we had great conversation and we both felt connected. great evening. once the evening was over she invited me over for dinner at her place the next day. the next day we exchanged emails. everything was great. i was very busy at work and felt stressed out at the end of the work day. tough day at the job. when i showed up for dinner again everything was fine. we put out dinner together and while i was making a plate i was talking to her about my busy day. i talked for maybe 5 minutes. then, she said OK! OK!. which means enough already. i was stunned. like a deer in lights. of course i ask what do you mean OK OK... she said, enough about your job. i'm not interested and its boring to me. so, basically i said, wait a min i just wanted to share my day a bit. and basically the fight started. she then said, after you are done eating you can leave. of course i told her i lost my apatite and said good night and left. she looked upset. and i felt like crap. later the next day she sent me an email saying stuff about how i am, i'm to sensitive, i like to start fights, i make a big deal about nothing, etc. so i replied with the you know what a min. long story short she called me that night told me oh i would of called sooner but my gf was over to pick up a plant. (not sure why she had to tell me that). anyway she wants a break. i asked how long she said, i dont know. so, i said well figure it out before we hang up. she said till sunday. so basically i'm not calling her. she is only calling me when she wants to talk. and i told her if she does not call sunday then its over. and told her this is goodbye and the ball is in your court.
a couple of things i see in this is i get the feeling she has plans for the weekend and she started a fight so she could go without telling me what her plans are. and second, why is she making a big deal about having a break... any ideas on what is going on here? thanks

dancingtwins

#1 you don't want to be with anyone you can't share your day with because that is part of a relationship.
#2 in my opinion- she has other plans for the weekend and didn't want to include you

I say tell her good bye now and go find someone who will appreciate you

Wildcat21

Oh no!

Leave her alone!!!
I am quite sure you did bore her.

It's over dude. Why on earth do you keep getting in fights?

I hope to hell this isn't the same gal.

And dude - I really hope you're in professional counseling - seriously. You really would benefit from this.

You're DONE with this gal. I hope it isn't the same gal.

It's break because it's broken and she isn't coming back!

blueiman

#1 i agree. and i dont understand why she kinda cut me off when i was just about done anyway talking about what happened at work. i felt terrible when she said, OK! OK!. i did not know what to think. it was like she was saying enough about your job. she said its boring and i dont care about your job. something like that anyway. so we argued a bit and she tossed at me. all you want to do is fight. and i'm thinking no you do. so she tells me to go home after i eat. i lost my apatite.
#2 i dont think she had plans when we where together at the time. i''m just puzzle at what the... happened. i felt like crap so i sayed i'm leave goodnight.

what did you mean by quite sure i bore her?
i am not sure why i keep getting in fights. i dont want to fight. i guess when she says something like OK OK. a switch goes off and i feel that she is being mean.
yes this is the same girl. i know but we have been trying to work thru stuff and for a while things are good up to this point.
i do plan to get some professional help i agree it would benefit me. thanks
wildcat, when you say done with this girl. are you saying because of the way she treats me or do you think it just me in general. what do you think?

at this point yesterday evening we talked and seem to argue a bit on who is right who is wrong, etc. i'm confused. why we keep tearing into each other. help

be prepared for what she will tell me.... not sure what you mean. can you be more specific?

what i dont understand is. thursday evening i told her i think we should get together and talk about what is going on with the relationship. i felt it would be best to stop arguing and talk about what is going on with her and me. but, rather than agree she said she made her own plans for the weekend so no she cant see me after work friday. not saturday but she said she would call me sunday.
i dont understand why her last min plans are more important than working on the relationship. is she just running away from the relatinship. why is it nessesary to talk a break? what does a break mean for a couple of days?

LUNAGODDESS

It is a control issue...she does not want to be controlled...when she gets back she will tell you here problems...so be prepare...

Wildcat21

Dude - don't come here any more - we'[ve tried to help you forever and a day and you DON'T GET ANY OF THIS.

PLEASE - for the love of god and our sanity - go seek PROFESSIONAL HELP! SSeriously. I am not being mean. But, you take every little thing in life way too much.

blueiman

i'm having a bad day. i'm not seeing my gf. i dont have plans this weekend. except i had to work today till 230pm. i have to work tomorrow sunday from 6a-12noon. right now life is hard today. im trying to keep busy. i called my family and i cant get ahold of anyone. except my sister. she is out to dinner and i feel terrible that after talking to her yesterday she did not invite me. everyone has something to do. including my gf. my gf called me about 2pm on my mobile so i did not get it while at work. she left a message basically saying, hi i thought you would be out of work at 2p, well anyway i have plans later so i will call you tomorrow. now im thinking what plans? and what did she do friday night? anyway i just had to vent here. i feel alone right now. i cant stay out late because i have to get up so early. i have nothing to do to keep busy and that is just driving me nuts. any suggestions on what i can do to get thru this? has anyone feel this way?

im getting more upset. im alone and for some reason im feeling like where is everyone. i feel like crap. i dont like to be alone and this is not fun. i feel like i have to leave the house and just go somewhere. anything but stay here. why am i feeling this way. i never break down like this. i feel to overly anxious. im have a tough time relaxing. any suggestions please...

s_cianci

Yes, she may have started the fight so she could do her weekend thing without telling you. Of course, why she'd have to hide it from you in the first place doesn't make much sense. I think that maybe you've don a little too much with her too fast so starting the argument was her way of initiating the break. I'd leave her alone for now. After all, do you really want a relationship with someone who won't even let you talk to them about your job? Give her the space she needs and pursue other activities, without her.

blueiman

thanks, i agree with you very good point. i will give her the space. i will make plans and not wait for her. i will go on with my life and not think about it no more. if she does call me sunday i will not answer the phone. im busy. monday if she emails me i will not read them. i will delete them. and maybe if i answer the phone if she calls me later i will say i was busy. went out with friends. and i will not ask her never what she did over the weekend because i dont care. if she asks me what i did i wil only tell her i was busy doing stuff and going out with my friends. i think its time to play her game she is playing with me. and she is controlling me and i need to not let her do that.
am i on the right track?

blueiman

dude dont tell me what to do. you are not the boss of me so go away and help someone else. unless you have something to say about the post. give your opinion and help if you can. but, dont tell me where to go. i have every right to post hear. i thought this was a ask me help desk. dont you agree wildcat?