Two weeks ago, my GF of 18 months decided she needed a "break". I want to state that she is a very busy girl: 2 jobs, one 4 year old daughter, and a full time school schedule for the next three years (including summers) and our relationship was long distance (she lives in my hometown and I live an hour or so away).

I really did not see this coming because up to this point things have been going great, we have discussed marriage (mainly she has discussed it) and she has never voiced any doubts to me. We have never really had a fight, some minor disagreements but nothing crazy. She really has not given me any answers as to what she is thinking or where this is heading. I love this girl so much, but I am really having doubts as to how to handle this situation. She did tell me that she is still in love with me, but that her instincts were telling her to do this.

I kind of lost it for the first 5 days. I was calling her siblings and acting like a nut. I emailed her last thursday to apologize for the calls and told her I finally had my head back on my shoulders and that she forced me to take a hard look in the mirror at myself and I need to change somethings (mainly my activity level). She responded back and said thanks for the email and said she agreed that I summed things up in my email of her feelings. She also stated that she wants to be friends but to take a few weeks (as friends) apart (her words).

I have really found the other posts to be very helpful. I am in the no-contact zone and have been for 6 days ( no email ) and 10 days since we have spoken on the phone. I have started exercising and actually I have already lost 10 pounds in 10 days. I feel great and have actually made amends with some other people in my life that I had been neglecting. I really am feeling great about my life other than this GF shizz. I feel like I have grown more as a person in the last 5 - 10 days than the last 5 years of my life.

I actually found out a few days after my realization of my laziness that she was having a problem with my laziness from her brother. It feels like we came to the same conclusions independently. I am on the road to conquering this complacency and laziness which feels really good.

I guess my question is am I handling this ok or should I do something different

Jiser

You are not her friend. Time to face reality and work on yourself.

SeriouslyConfused

Jiser you are totally correct. I am not her friend and told her I don't think that is possible. I feel like I can focus on myself becuse truly I have already been doing it. I just need to keep it going.

mckenzie134

YOU WROTE YOU DONT THINK IT POSSIBLE TO BE HER FRIEND!!!

There is no chance of being friends wit her. she still wants to sleep with you cause she is still emotionally attached my ex did this to me afte a month i slept with her got me no where. dont do it, better off if you dont will even make her want it more. thats the idea here give her nothing

WHATS THIS CRAP ABOUT MEETING ON SUNDAY THOUGHT YOU WERE IN NO CONTACT THAT MEANS NO TALKING

GET SERIOUS WITH THIS SHOW HER YOUR GONE GET SOME BALLS TELL HER DROP YOUR STUFF OFF AT YOUR HOUSE YOUR O BUSY TO GET IT. TELL HER THA HER STUFF WILL BE ON YOUR FRONT DOOR CAN SHE GET IT AND DROP YOUR GEAR OFF.

YOU DONT WANT TO SEE HER TILL THE PARTY SHE WONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON11!!

If youy wana win her back you better get serious and learn how this is done and if it doesnt work you will feel beter anyway...

dont see her get your stuff dropped off keep her guessing. she dumped you she doesnt getto talk to you now. your not part of her ife leave a void!!!!!!DO IT NOW

emopunk7

Tell that girl "To hell with you and all your friends!" -Taking Back Sunday!...Leave that girl! It's going to be hard the first 2 months...but it gets easier by the third but still a little hard...By the fourth u should be king of the world again!

talaniman

If you will read others going thru the same thing, keeping in contact with the ex only leads to confusion, and their can be no healing under those circumstances. The same goes for sex, as this also keeps false hope alive, and makes moving on impossible. Stay with the no contact and above all, put your healing before anything else including her concerns which means absolutely nothing to you now.

emopunk7

Thanks for keeping us strong Talaniman...Pretty much come here to hear your advice. Please give me some on my threads!

SeriouslyConfused

Well like i mentioned in previous posts i had some stuff of my ex's and she had some of my stuff. Well i decided tonight was the night for total closure.

I told her she is a coward, for numerous reasons. The way she approached this and her inablity to talk to me about any of it. I also told her she is acting juvenile, and that I will not be friends with her. I said maybe not tonight but at some point in the future you will realize how big of a mistake she has made. I told her to never call me because I will never be able to trust her again. She is a total coward, and I am done thinking any other way about it. I do not need her, I am going to come out of this better than ever.

talaniman

I'm glad and good luck.