she wants a break

handoferebus · Oct 15, 2006, 02:19 PM

Ok so, I've read a few "taking a break" threads and things seem to come to the same concensus of "just give her her space." The thing is, each case is different obviously.

My case is: I'm 20, she's 18. We've been going out for 1 month (short time, i know, but it feels like a lifetime). I met her while she was still in a "stale" relationship (of 2 years might I mention)that she had given a few chances, but it just wasn't happening, and within a few days she ended it, and there began our relationship. The guy she was with was a long time friend before we started going out, but the way she ended it was sort of harsh, and he basically ended their friendship because of the situation. She's been racked with guilt the whole time, but sometimes more than others.

The thing is, however, that throughout all of the relationships i've been through, long and short, this has been the best BY FAR. The connection is so intense at all times, it's quite amazing. It's one of those "almost too good to be true?" type things. There's bickering, etc, but that's normal. I'm almost positive she feels the same way, but of course i have my doubts, especially when she wants to take a break.

A couple of days she told me that she wants to take a break. Not a definite break-up, but a break. She says it's because she didn't give herself enough time to think about whatever from the last relationship and be single. I agreed and said it's best that we don't talk until she's ready to talk to me about our relationship.

So here I sit, wanting pretty bad to get in contact with her, but I know that I shouldn't. I told her before we took the break that I don't want to throw this relationship away like this, and she told me she doesn't either, but it's important to her that she does this. Should I just continue doing what I'm doing and wait for her? Or should I look at this as a "it's over, continue on with life, but leave my door open."? Any input is appreciated, thanks!

-John

handoferebus · Oct 15, 2006, 09:18 PM

Anyone else have any input? Skell helped me out a ton, but I'd like to hear any other opinions, even if they're the same as Skell's.

Gangster1 · Oct 15, 2006, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by handoferebus

Ok so, I've read a few "taking a break" threads and things seem to come to the same concensus of "just give her her space." The thing is, each case is different obviously.

My case is: I'm 20, she's 18. We've been going out for 1 month (short time, i know, but it feels like a lifetime). I met her while she was still in a "stale" relationship (of 2 years might I mention)that she had given a few chances, but it just wasn't happening, and within a few days she ended it, and there began our relationship. The guy she was with was a long time friend before we started going out, but the way she ended it was sort of harsh, and he basically ended their friendship because of the situation. She's been racked with guilt the whole time, but sometimes more than others.

The thing is, however, that throughout all of the relationships i've been through, long and short, this has been the best BY FAR. The connection is so intense at all times, it's quite amazing. It's one of those "almost too good to be true?" type things. There's bickering, etc, but that's normal. I'm almost positive she feels the same way, but of course i have my doubts, especially when she wants to take a break.

A couple of days she told me that she wants to take a break. Not a definite break-up, but a break. She says it's because she didn't give herself enough time to think about whatever from the last relationship and be single. I agreed and said it's best that we don't talk until she's ready to talk to me about our relationship.

So here I sit, wanting pretty bad to get in contact with her, but I know that I shouldn't. I told her before we took the break that I don't want to throw this relationship away like this, and she told me she doesn't either, but it's important to her that she does this. Should I just continue doing what I'm doing and wait for her? Or should I look at this as a "it's over, continue on with life, but leave my door open."? Any input is appreciated, thanks!

-John

Keep doing what you are doing, wait for her, but dont hold your life toward her! Go out have some fun! Think positive expectations about this situation, and if she doest call back or come back its over! <call her once in a while>

timich · Oct 15, 2006, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by handoferebus

Ok so, I've read a few "taking a break" threads and things seem to come to the same concensus of "just give her her space." The thing is, each case is different obviously.

My case is: I'm 20, she's 18. We've been going out for 1 month (short time, i know, but it feels like a lifetime). I met her while she was still in a "stale" relationship (of 2 years might I mention)that she had given a few chances, but it just wasn't happening, and within a few days she ended it, and there began our relationship. The guy she was with was a long time friend before we started going out, but the way she ended it was sort of harsh, and he basically ended their friendship because of the situation. She's been racked with guilt the whole time, but sometimes more than others.

The thing is, however, that throughout all of the relationships i've been through, long and short, this has been the best BY FAR. The connection is so intense at all times, it's quite amazing. It's one of those "almost too good to be true?" type things. There's bickering, etc, but that's normal. I'm almost positive she feels the same way, but of course i have my doubts, especially when she wants to take a break.

A couple of days she told me that she wants to take a break. Not a definite break-up, but a break. She says it's because she didn't give herself enough time to think about whatever from the last relationship and be single. I agreed and said it's best that we don't talk until she's ready to talk to me about our relationship.

So here I sit, wanting pretty bad to get in contact with her, but I know that I shouldn't. I told her before we took the break that I don't want to throw this relationship away like this, and she told me she doesn't either, but it's important to her that she does this. Should I just continue doing what I'm doing and wait for her? Or should I look at this as a "it's over, continue on with life, but leave my door open."? Any input is appreciated, thanks!

-John

When we just started going out with my girlfriend after 3 month she wanted to take a break too, like you said it was "almost too good to be true?" , she got scared. so i gave her some time, about a month actually, then she broke up with me. Everything was really nice but i knew that that wasn't the end. I was being friends with her and just being nice to her while going with some other girls. In two month after the break up she asked me to get back together and here we are still together for already a year an a half now!
Good luck... if it's ment to be, it's ment to be man...

Skell · Oct 15, 2006, 10:02 PM

youll get more input. its the time difference. im in the day here in oz and i think all the guys in the states get on abit later. there will be plenty of other advice come your way!

handoferebus · Oct 17, 2006, 07:56 AM

So... last night (Monday) she logged on AIM and sent me a msg. It was completely unrelated to our situation, and i gave her a single word answer. I said two or three more lines to follow up my answer. Then she tried some small talk: "so i finally started watching that movie of the book that we both read." I didn't respond, and 15 minutes later she logged off. I'm wondering if i should send her a txt msg asking how the movie was, or something, just to make it look like i'm not blatantly ignoring her. I miss her ;/ Any input?

Skell · Oct 17, 2006, 03:00 PM

She asked for a break and you are giving it to her. it isnt ignoring her.
if i were you i wouldnt have answered her on AIM.
As i said she wants a break so why is she trying to talk to you.

Dont answer her, dont text her, dont call her, dont email her. Not for a week or two yet.

If she takes it as you ignoring her then too bad. she wants a break.

In a few weeks you can give her a call and just say hi and if she gets the sh1ts with you for 'ignoring' her then you simply say that you were respecting her wishes and giving her the break SHE ASKED for.

No contact. Read tdmce's thread about what happened when he stopped contact. She couldnt wait to write to him telling him how much she missed him and what a mistake she had made.

Dont contact her and give her time to miss you.
Answering her all the time wont do that!

joni_boloney · Oct 17, 2006, 09:35 PM

i still believe love conquers all.

handoferebus · Oct 18, 2006, 05:16 PM

Still havn't heard anything from her. Today was better for me though. I decided to go buy some new shoes, so that lifted my spirits a little

Skell · Oct 18, 2006, 05:58 PM

it wont happen in 1 day. weeks is what is needed. and it will be hard. no one can tell you otherwise. but you really need to work on YOU right now!
tomorrow you should do something else to lift your spirits. maybe workout, run. find things to do!



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