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    Is she rebounding? Or is she over me?

    Asked Nov 3, 2007, 06:10 AM — 50 Answers
    I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 year. 2months have passed with a decent amount of contact. That recently stopped and I started falling for her again. I professed my apology and love for her. I asked her to come back to me. To make things worse, she found someone already, started getting REALLY COLD, and now (after almost 3 months) she lives with them. I hear this may be a rebound. She says he treats her really well, better than I ever did. And he and I are completely different people.

    I talked to her today, for the first time in a little while and asked her her feelings. She finally told me that she still loves me and misses me, and would come back to me, but she was currently involved with someone. She doesn't mind being friends. She cried recently when she thought I was seeing a girl. She cried when I asked her if she missed me. We have periods of several days where we don't talk. For the most part, I initiate all contact now. She also told me she dreamed, last night, that I had died [might have to do with: I got injured and was in the hospital a week ago for surgery/might mean I'm dead to her]. She said she was 'sad and hurt'

    I feel like she's trying to make the new guy work. And it would only end if HE ended it.

    Has she/is she:
    Getting over me
    Rebounding
    Moved/moving on
    Accepting I'm gone
    Still in love with me and wants to come back
    Leaving me as a future option
    ??

    My friends say give it time. I could use some advice. I still amcrazy about this one...

    Last edited by ryaninvegas; Nov 3, 2007 at 10:02 PM.
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    50 Answers
    excello98's Avatar
    excello98 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Nov 3, 2007, 07:20 AM
    Was there any reason for the break in the first place? I think giving it time is a good idea - stay in touch with her, but don't be too needy. Maybe limit yourself to initiating contact only once or twice a week.

    Do you really want her back? I mean, would you have second thoughts if she called you right now and said "I've broken up with him, I'm coming over", because you don't want to ruin things again.

    Just remember that the ball is in her court. I know it's hard but there's really nothing you can do to 'force' her to change her current arrangements. Give it time, but make sure you don't ruin whatever friendship you have left. Keep in mind that at some point you might just have to move on.
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    Diamondstar03's Avatar
    Diamondstar03 Posts: 83, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 3, 2007, 09:18 AM
    ryaninvegas
    is she rebounding? Or is she over me?
    I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 year. 2months have passed with a decent amount of contact. That recently stopped and I started falling for her again. I professed my apology and love for her. I asked her to come back to me. To make things worse, she found someone already, started getting REALLY COLD, and now (after almost 3 months) she lives with them. I hear this may be a rebound. She says he treats her really well, better than I ever did. And he and I are completely different people.

    I talked to her today, for the first time in a little while and asked her her feelings. She finally told me that she still loves me and misses me, and would come back to me, but she was currently involved with someone. She doesn't mind being friends. She cried recently when she thought I was seeing a girl. She cried when I asked her if she missed me. We have periods of several days where we don't talk. For the most part, I initiate all contact now. She also told me she dreamed, last night, that I had died [might have to do with: I got injured and was in the hospital a week ago for surgery/might mean I'm dead to her]. She said she was 'sad and hurt'

    I feel like she's trying to make the new guy work. And it would only end if HE ended it.

    Has she/is she:
    Getting over me
    Rebounding
    Moved/moving on
    Accepting I'm gone
    Still in love with me and wants to come back
    Leaving me as a future option
    ??

    My friends say give it time. I could use some advice. I still amcrazy about this one...
    Reply With Quote
    I know exactly how you feel, I am in the same situation almost exactly. I am still hurting over it all. I am sorry you are dealing with the same thing. All I can say is NC is the only thing you can do. I won't even talk to mine anymore. She has been cruel and mean. I don't even know who she is anymore. I am not sure what will go on in the future, but I will not have any communication with her until she comes around. And even then, I am not sure I can get over how she has done things. It will be intresting if it ever happens. But I cant wait for it, I am living my life the best I can, I hope I will get over this enough to really like myself once again. Goodluck, use NC and hope for the best. I have been... Not sure it will make a difference since mine has been 3 1/2 months. Hope yours works out better than mine has.
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    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 759
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    #4

    Nov 3, 2007, 09:23 AM
    It sounds like she's probably rebounding. Either way it doesn't sound like a very healthy situation right now. I'd back off so that both of you have a chance to get your heads cleared out and decide what you really want. If she's going to hang on to this guy as a security blanket then I really don't think there's much hope for you.
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    ryaninvegas's Avatar
    ryaninvegas Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Nov 3, 2007, 10:39 AM
    I asked her if she loved him. She said she never thought about that. Thst she loved things about him. -but for her to already live with him? That's like in my face! I will do no contact. But shouldn't I stand up for rmyself with something like:
    You told me don't read into things; that I was blowing you new relationship out of proportion. I told you you could come back to me. But you haven't come an inch. In fact, now you've as far as to live with the guy.
    I'm not going to sit here and wait while you weigh your options. Your making a fool of me. I have more pride and self respect than that.
    --like I said I'm still crazy about this girl.
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    enigmagnetic's Avatar
    enigmagnetic Posts: 333, Reputation: 45
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Nov 3, 2007, 10:49 AM
    She's playing you like a violin. She is sleeping with some other guy and sits there on the phone and cries about how she misses you? I would guess the latter part is complete BS. Give YOURSELF time. Not the relationship. How could she miss you if you are constantly trying to get a hold of her. Man she must feel pretty desirable right now, even though really in my eyes she is the complete opposite. It's probable that she probably talks crap about you to her new man. Dude women can turn on the tears like a faucet. They are emotionally on a superior level then us men. You got to get away and, also, build a new life. You have to do it for yourself.
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    serena6878's Avatar
    serena6878 Posts: 94, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Nov 3, 2007, 10:58 AM
    Ask yourself whether you love her. Do you know what love is. Even though you heard she said,"I love you", do you know that she loves you?
    You didn't advices from others. Life is not a game. But if it is a game, it is destined to be a long and painful one. Love means marriage, and once people enter its altar, they should know they have already picked the most beautiful shell on the sand in this life and in next life.
    Could you? If you are certain of your love, tell her, "I want you to be my wife. And you don't have other choices!"
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    enigmagnetic's Avatar
    enigmagnetic Posts: 333, Reputation: 45
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Nov 3, 2007, 11:01 AM
    Serena, your post is confusing. So are you telling him to ask her to marry him? I'll tell you what love does not mean marriage. Some people purely marry for money. That's a bit of naïveté if you ask me.
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    melisskah's Avatar
    melisskah Posts: 20, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #9

    Nov 3, 2007, 11:19 AM
    I agree with 'enigmagnectic', she's playing you like a violin...

    'she finally told me that she still loves me and misses me, and would come back to me, but she was currently involved with someone'

    ^ if she loved and missed you, she would have left the other dude by now... dont you think

    cut contacts with her, if she really loved you then maybe she will miss you and come back... (but don't count on it, sorry)

    I'm sure you're a nice guy, you don't need someone who's going to treat you like and make you hang around waiting like a lap dog until she's ready to decide when she wants to get back with you... dont you think you're worth more than that?
    Helpful
    serena6878's Avatar
    serena6878 Posts: 94, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Nov 3, 2007, 11:30 AM
    If someone thinks marriage is an access to getting money, she also has to sacrifice her dignity, happiness and future. To decide to marry a person, whatever the percentage of true love is, she or he had loved.
    If people are very clever in a relationship, where can we find love? You must risk willingly with the knowledge that I could be deceived, but I would like to be deceived by the person I love. If you are not obstinate for a person, don't say you love her.
    "If she really loves me, she would miss me and come back to me." Are you a man who would like to take the responsibility for a woman to care her a whole life? Cowardice!
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