Hi, this is my first post and from reading the past posts I decided I like the people here.

I am a 23 yr old College student and she is a 21 yr old College student as well in the US.
So about a week and half ago we broke up, as expected I was heartbroken. I'm slowly making progress but I can't find myself keeping busy 100% of the day. It's those lulls in the day that she manages to sneak back in. I also have class with her every other day and it's really hard to do the no contact thing when you see her and she says things to me. We talked last night in person and just said that she is still confused. Which I understand, she has always had trouble making decisions (due to OCD).
She told me she was happy that I contacted her and she hugged me hard and etc. Now the thing is there is another guy although she says she doesn't even see him anywhere near as to what I was to her. I will be leaving in 2 weeks for home for 3 months for the summer. What should I do? If you have any questions feel free to ask, no question is to personal when you want help from someone.

Thanks,
DesignDude

LBP

There's nothing you can do... Just live life. I'd advise not talking to her as that will make you confused, probably more so than her... In fact, she probably knows what she wants more than you imagine... I mean, she knows she doesn't want to be with you. I'd view this as an opportunity to focus on the things that matter to you other than her... Find yourself again!

I'm sure you have other things going on in your life. Time to capitalize on them... She was okay with breaking your heart... She should be okay with you finding other things to do with yourself...

And on the hard hugs, the words she says... Don't take them too seriously. I mean that. Your best bet is assuming that you two no longer have a chance and going from there.

dreken105

Stick with her if you love her... trust me there are gonna be alot of people in here denouncing you contacting her and caring for her but dont. See i was in a similar situation and i stuck with my sweetie and now i have her back. Just be there for her and if you love her she may try to be on a "break" and have little things with other guys it happens and you should try to be go out have fun with other girls w.e but if you really want to be with her just tell her you do and that (if you are) you're willing to stuck with her and you really love her.

DesignDude

I really appreciate everyones input. I will be pretty much forced to not contact her when I head home for the summer. Dreken yes I love her, but at the same time she can't make up her mind for the time being. Let me all let you know what happened. Pretty much I neglected her and was very blind to that fact, during this time she was going out with her friends on "girls nights" and met some dude and they became friends (right lol). So she started seeing the qualities I used to have in him and not me. He's not an issue though I think he is going to dig his own grave by harassing her as he is. When I do break down and call her after 2-3 days of no contact she says "I'm glad you called I miss you and wanted to hang out". I should have mentioned that her OCD pretty much dominates her life. There have been times where I was consoling her over trivial things. That never bothered me ever, but it has influenced her decisionmaking capabilities.

Thanks,
DesignDude

mckenzie134

Never be worried about other guys competition in your relationship will always be there if you are your own person and confident then it will not matter all she will think about is you and all she will want is you and that will work fine for you. She will believe that you are the one for her and she will stick by you. Its all about confidence dont let anything worry you if it does not work out dont worry you will be ok you will still have your life and have fun with it have fun with her if it doesnt work it will be her loss...

spiraljane23

To me it seems like you are very confused about the situation so maybe it is a good thing that you are going home for a few months over the summer. Distancing yourself form the situation will help you to more clearly think about what you want and what is best and then you can make a decision on what is right for you. Good luck, I hope things work out.

Becca1025

I'm sorry. I know its hard to try to "stay away" from her, but that is what is hurting you the most. The fact that you are seeing her every other day and talking to her is giving you false hope. She may be nice to you and seemed concerned, but that's just what some people do to make the other person feel better. You need to stick with your plans going home for awhile. That way you wont have the chance to bump into her and know she is not there. I always tell people, if it doesn't work the first time, why would it work the second? It would just build more problems on top of the already existing ones.

AKaeTrue

Just to add a little something else to the already great answers,
Something that stuck out in your post was that she started talking to another guy while she was dating you...
I feel she should have talked to you about how she was feeling instead of meeting new guys.
She probably does know what she wants more than she's leading on...

Kae

talaniman

Put an end to all the assumptions and doubts, and let her have her space to unconfuse herself in her own time and manner. That doesn't mean waiting to see what happens, its time for you to live your own life and find your own happiness. I know its hard to see her at school everyday, but just be civil and be busy, and unavailable. This will give you the time and distance to get your own life together with out the pressure from her to be friends, or either of you being confused about a future together.