my boyfriend was sexually abused when he was young and now he seems to think that its his fault. he hasnt talked to anyone about it. how do i help him?

Skell

Although it is very caring of you and im sure you would love nothing more than to help your boyfriend there really is not much you can do. I would encourage him to get some professional help. That really is the best way. During which time you can be as supportive and loving to him as you can be. But unless he wants to help himself then no one else can. And if it is affecting your relationship than you arent inclined to have to sit by and let him ruin both of your lives!

So be supportive and encourage him to get the help he needs but if he is unwilling then you can make your decision whether to continue with him or not.

Clough

Many times victims of sexual abuse will blame themselves, especially if they have been made to feel guilty about it by the abuser.

Sexual abuse is a crime. Was it ever reported to authorities like the police? If not, it should be reported to the proper authorities and see what they think and what they will do. No victim of sexual abuse is ever at fault.

Most, if not all states have some kind of social service organizations where you can report abuse and also get counseling.

There are also support groups for people who have been abused where they can share with others who have endured something like they have.

Many counseling agencies have sliding fee scales where you can pay very little or nothing at all if you cannot afford much.

If you go to a church or synagogue, speak with the pastor, priest or rabbi.

Krs

Be there for him. Love him and cherish him. Talk to him and make him try realise that something of the sort is not his fault. I know its difficult, but you need to make him believe that.

talaniman

He needs to see a mental health care profesional.