Sexual Abuser

talaniman · Feb 18, 2009, 10:04 PM

Are you so insecure that you would be in a situation with so many abusers and abused people around you? Remove yourself from this situation.

Romefalls19 · Feb 19, 2009, 05:21 AM

People like that cannot change, I'm sorry. Next time you think this man changed, look up the story of Meghan Kanka, that guy "reformed" as well. They are sick people and there is no excuse for what they do or have done. It was a young girl! How can you forgive that or look past it? Could you really trust having a kid with him alone?

Emland · Feb 19, 2009, 06:42 AM

You are swimming in a pool of toxic dysfunctionality.

I do not believe people that sexually molest children can ever be cured. It is an uncontrollable compulsion. What if you have children and he molests him/her?

There are a lot more worthy guys out in the world. Please look for one.

artlady · Feb 19, 2009, 07:28 AM

I am trying to maintain an open mind.I want to believe that people can change and with effective treatment develop the skills to combat their pedophile obsession.

Research just does not support that theory.There is no disputing the facts that pedophilia is an incurable sexual deviation.

Regarding the victim and her subsequent drug abuse,I am confident the two are related.If he wants to help her he should provide quality mental health treatment instead of allowing his guilt to allow her to party her life away.Clearly,she is trying to lose herself.

As others have stated,this is a toxic environment and when you begin to believe it is O.K.,you are being lured into a false sense of security.

Many pedophiles will hook up with a heterosexual female and try to maintain a semblance of normalcy in their life.You could very well be the pawn to help him to justify his *rehabilitation*.

Please rethink this..you must know you could never have a child with this man and the stepdaughters instability is dangerous and so is this entire situation.

You need to think this through.Arm yourself with all the knowledge you can and make an informed decision.

Jake2008 · Feb 19, 2009, 07:49 AM

Is this man a registered sex offender?

I am the last one to say 'don't do it', and I've seen miracles in people turning their lives and relationships around.

BUT, a man with this kind of proven history is not debatable. He is who he is, including his past, and the sum total of who is is now, does not erase what he's done, and what he is likely to become again.

Whiile I think he has likely distanced himself and accepted his past through therapy, that does not change the person. You are considering marriage to a man with a past, and you are aware of his history. His actions have affected his victims, and will for perhaps all of their lifetimes. It was not only his own life that was affected by what he did, you have to think of the mess he created and the destruction he caused along the way.

Please google recividism for pedophiles. It is generally understood that recividisom rates are high, and include not only pedophilia crimes, but other types of crimes as well.

If you were my daughter, as open minded as I am, this decision you've made would have me moving mountains to make you change your mind. I hope you read, and research, and see objectively and truthfully, that this is not a good choice.

He is what he is, and always will be.

0rphan · Feb 19, 2009, 08:32 AM

Hi sunray.......he abused that girl for a very long time 7-15 years old, that's 8 years of abuse, please don't tell me he didn't know what he was doing....he knew more than most having had it done to himself.

Lets face it.... He's more devious than you think, to have conned that girl for 8 years makes me sick to my stomache.

Think of all the threats he must have inflicted on her just to keep her quiet and he has the brass neck to say he can't discipline her.....it's down to him she is the way she is.

The best thing she can do for her own sanity is seek out help for herself, there are bound to be charitable organizations that will help.

My dear sunray, I know you say you love this guy, but if you want any decent life of your own....home family etc.....get out now.

There is to much history for you to sort out, you will get dragged under with it all.

They will both survive without you, just like they have all these years, I know it will be hard but no where near as hard if you stay.....

Romefalls19 · Feb 19, 2009, 08:38 AM

Artlady, while I agree there is no compound evidence to support the theory, but look at the past offenders, they are more times likely to continue the pattern than not. For every one person who is "cured" 4 others act upon their impulse again.

artlady · Feb 19, 2009, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Artlady, while I agree there is no compound evidence to support the theory, but look at the past offenders, they are more times likely to continue the pattern than not. For every one person who is "cured" 4 others act upon their impulse again.

I said...I am trying to maintain an open mind.I want to believe that people can change and with effective treatment develop the skills to combat their pedophile obsession.

Research just does not support that theory.There is no disputing the facts that pedophilia is an incurable sexual deviation.

The theory I was referring to was that they can change ,I am saying the theory is not supported by research.

Maybe I did not make myself clear but I am agreeing that pedophilia is an incurable sexual deviation.

Romefalls19 · Feb 19, 2009, 08:57 AM

Oh ok, lol misunderstood what you were trying to say. I apologize

Sexual Abuser

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