Have you ever been rejected by someone only to heal then walk down the street and see them with their new partner? I live near my ex and keep seeing him at public events--we go to school together--with his new girlfriend.

I want to strangle him because he said we couldn't work because he needed to be alone (!?)
I want to confront him because I feel angry beyond words
I can't even look at them because I feel sick to my stomach
I want to act like I don't care...I want to nonchalantly approach him and prove that I am not remotely disturbed but most of all--it hurts so badly. I feel like someone just kicked me in the stomach. How, how do you get over this? We are required to go to a number of events for a class so avoiding him is impossible. I have no idea what to do--I end up feeling like every time, esp right after getting my self confidence back up to normal.

eruditemargaret9

There is a contingent--IF you LOVE someone. In my case, since he cheated and lied I would have to say NO I don't love him. But I have found it is pointless to criminalize your ex just to make yourself feel better. Of course they will go on and date other people--I just don't want to see it!! But that's life...

BMI

Ouch! You definetly got a raw deal seeing all of that. Nice to hear you have a good prespective on it though.

duck22

I can only imagine how much it would suck to walk into your ex and there new bf/gf. I avoid where my ex and her new guy might be for two reasons. One I will definitely be set back and end up angry or upset. Two, I would have to try my best not to kick this guys a**. I know that this sounds immature, but this guy is a prick and in my eyes I believe it would be justified.

Ive seen pictures of my ex and her new boytoy. I do not know what she sees him but if she is happy then whatever. It set me back some but I find consolation knowing that he is less then me in almost every aspect. She will realize that but when she does it will already be too late. I am hurt now but down the road she will be the one that feels the pain when she realizes what she had lost. I set the bar pretty high so shes gonna have a tough time finding somebody like me. The more I accept the fact that she is not the one for me and the better I feel.

eruditemargaret9

As I said, avoiding him is impossible since we are in the same program AND neighborhood. Eeek! Isn't it funny that our ex's end up with people that are actually less attractive and successful than us? It's so bizarre but oh well...

Romefalls19

I agree Erudite...My ex is now dating a 24 year old, no college education, works full-time as a bookkeeper for ShopRite(making 11.45 an hour..Which is what I make there part time), is over weight, does nothing but drink beer, play videogames and messes with his Scion TC(girl car, they have matching cars) Meanwhile I'm 21, graduated college, working as a computer admin, in shape, goes to the gym almost every day, has a life, and works 2 jobs...So I just laugh about it, because when she finally realizes what she lost, hopefully I will be way over it

starbuck8

I sure know how you feel because this has happened to me more times than I will say in a few different relationships...pictures and all. The first time was many yrs ago, but I do remember how much it hurt. I found out from a friend (and the whole group of "friends" knew) that my (ex) husband was pretending to go off to work, when in fact he was calling in sick, and would bring the g/f to my home after I went to work and they would spend the day in OUR bed.

When I confronted him with it, he called the g/f and she pulled up in her bright red car, honking and waving at me as my husband packed his suitcases. Then to make matters worse, they would find out where I would be and they would be there everytime. The new g/f and her friends even cornered me in the bathroom one time and tried to fight me, and the g/f slapped me in the face and told me to stay away from HER b/f. He was MY husband! Silly games.
Anyway, it took quite sometime to get over it...but when I did, I REALLY did!! If I passed him on the street today, I'm not so sure I would even recognise him.

So try your best to forget about him...he's a cheater and a liar, and would've only made your life miserable in the long run. You wouldn't have been able to trust him anyway. Hopefully you'll pass him on the street one day and think to yourself...hmmm, i think i know that guy...and then keep movin!!

eruditemargaret9

Great answer and thank you. The being cheated on thing needs its own posting in itself but am just trying to deal with one thing at a time. I am so sorry for what happened with you--funny how you were "cheating" on that girl's boyfriend with your um husband?!

starbuck8

Yes, how Ironic that was hey? Wonder how she figured THAT in her little blonde empty head?! lol. Oh well, he ended up marrying her and she cheated on him...now that's irony!!...and funny. Karma sucks!! haha

Good luck to you without him!

anamia

My ex told me he was about to get engaged. I honestly couldnt breathe. It was horrible. I think that we always wonder what might have been. Seeing an ex in person - with someone else... it makes you feel so very replaceable. That is what hurts more than anything. I think we all like to have the idea that he is out there, miserable, desperate that he is not with us... but guys are just like us... eventually... you just have to move on.

Thankfully my ex didnt go through with the engagement... but even after that, every time I saw him out or he even mentioned a new girl on the phone, I felt like I died a little. Once you have a history with someone, there will always be some kind of feeling there - even when we dont want to own up to them.

talaniman

Talanirule-When confronted with ex, and new flame - smile, wave, keep moving, "Never let 'em see you sweat".