Second Chances.

niniback · Apr 22, 2007, 03:54 PM

Hi all,

I was wondering if we can tell stories about our experiences with giving your partner a 'second chance'.

What made you decide to give it a second chance.
How it went.
Did it work out the second time around.

And finally...
Would you do it again?

SAB123 · May 4, 2007, 06:22 AM

3 months Read my questions I have posted on this site My ex used me, kept our engagment ring. So If you read mine you my want to heal yourself to make sure she is the one for you.She also is my first love.

ceriphante · May 4, 2007, 06:33 AM

[quote=tiredandlonely]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ceriphante

If you were not given a second chance it should not rob you of the opportunity to grow emotionally and learn from your mistakes for next time, and if you believe that by not having that second opportunity that it does then whos not being realistic?

QUOTE]

If I get a second oppurtunity then go Me!!, If not it is very unfortunate. I am very realistic about second chances. My mistake has nothing to do with trust, my biggest mistake was about working too much, too much to enjoy my beautiful girlfriend. The trust was there, as a matter of fact, I was the one that had to endure to trying issues with her. I gave her a second chance, and a third chanCe. I was cheated on, which I forgave her for, and she abused some of my prescription medications. All of which occurred prior to our relationship getting serious. These both occurred within six months of our relationship. Most people would have said "good bye", not I, I stuck by her and we worked through it. It was very tough on me emotionally and it took me a very lonG time to completley trust her. Then I started bustinG my butt, to work for our future, and make money now so we both didnt need to work so hard, then she decides to give up on me. If she gives me a second chance, I am going to cherish the oppurtunity. I realize that workinG is not everything. I just wanted us to be ok.. I would rather suffer a little financially, then not to have my girlfrienD in my life. So if it doesnt work, guess what, I have learned but I think that second chances should be given. By saying that you would never ever give any one a second chance, anD you wouldnt expect a second chance, I feel that you are beinG too closed minded. If you were atleast accepting that it were possible would be realistic.

nah I never expect a second chance.
nor do I give them

but interesting reading all the same...

tiredandlonely · May 4, 2007, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAB123

3 months Read my questions I have posted on this site My ex used me, kept our engagment ring. So If you read mine you my want to heal yourself to make sure she is the one for you.She also is my first love.

My ex didnt use me, as a matter of fact I asked for and received the jewelry back. That was stupid on my part to ask, but i did and I regretted it. The questions you want me to check out, was that in regards to statement about girl dumpers? I do think she is the one for me, time will tell, I am trying to give her the time, I am trying to give myself the time.

SAB123 · May 4, 2007, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiredandlonely

My ex didnt use me, as a matter of fact I asked for and received the jewelry back. That was stupid on my part to ask, but i did and I regretted it. The questions you want me to check out, was that in regards to statement about girl dumpers? I do think she is the one for me, time will tell, I am trying to give her the time, I am trying to give myself the time.

The question that askes you to read are mine about my ex in my profile "Is my ex fiance comimg back again" and "I think my ex fiance is coming back again". And the the ring I asked for mine back to, you should of read the e-mail she wrote to me about that(mean person)

tiredandlonely · May 4, 2007, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAB123

The question that askes you to read are mine about my ex in my profile "Is my ex fiance comimg back again" and "I think my ex fiance is coming back again". And the the ring I asked for mine back to, you should of read the e-mail she wrote to me about that(mean person)

I have read your threads. I think you may be right about jewelry as a control tactic. When I told her I was giving the bracelet and necklace back she sounded content with that, and didnt know when she was going to get it, as she was going to her sisters for the week. I told her that I would get it for her, and she paused to think then said her dad would get it for her. I was very nice to her, then she began to stutter and stumble on her words. I asked her a few times what was up? she told me that on May 7th she was going to be relatively close to my house. She had to pick up a dress for a wedding that she was in, and she wanted to stop at my house to get her stuff. After she brought that up, she told me that she didnt want the jewlery that she would never wear it.

My female friends have been telling me that she was acting out. She was upset because by me offering to give her the jewelry back it was like giving up on her and the relationship. They said is sounds as if she still cares, and doesnt want things to end, even though she ended things. By me acting very nice to hear that bothered her and she came back with wanting to get her stuff. The stuff has been sitting here for two months, and it isnt going anywhere. The only real items of value which she actually wants is christmas decorations from her child hood. To me it sounds the same that she wants to come up to talk about things, not so much about the items. By me sending the jewelry back to her she saw that as an oppurtunity to call me. Needless to say though, the jewlelry is still sitting at the post office, cuz she hasnt signed for it yet. what do you think about that?

SAB123 · May 4, 2007, 09:16 AM

tiredandlonely]Quote
My female friends have been telling me that she was acting out. She was upset because by me offering to give her the jewelry back it was like giving up on her and the relationship. They said is sounds as if she still cares, and doesnt want things to end, even though she ended things. By me acting very nice to hear that bothered her and she came back with wanting to get her stuff. The stuff has been sitting here for two months, and it isnt going anywhere. The only real items of value which she actually wants is christmas decorations from her child hood. To me it sounds the same that she wants to come up to talk about things, not so much about the items. By me sending the jewelry back to her she saw that as an oppurtunity to call me. Needless to say though, the jewlelry is still sitting at the post office, cuz she hasnt signed for it yet. what do you think about that?

sab123[/quote]It sound like shes doing what mine did to me. I told my ex on one of the break ups to get her camera, she said I'll get later. If they leave stuff behind that can be a door back in. I would give all her stuff back and do NC and tell her that and mean it. If she contact you in the future it probally/maybe means she want get back. But youhave to heal yourself and move on its going to be hard but you have to do it. Because if she doesn't come back You'll always be at square one and will never be able to move on. Don't be her door mat.

tiredandlonely · May 4, 2007, 10:02 AM

When I went to get my stuff from her house. I had no intention of actually getting my stuff. I thought we would be able to talk and work things out. That turned out to be a disatrous event. I felt really bad about getting my stuff then, because like you said that was my door back in. It is going to be tough. i realize what I have done in the relationship. I guess she and i still both care about each other. In my heart I believe she does care and loves me. I think the stress got to her and things went crazy after that.

Rockabilly1955mama · May 4, 2007, 10:13 AM

I will sound completley stupid. But this is what I did...which was completley stupid of me.

I had a boyfriend for 2 year. He cheated on me 6 times (yes, 6) and I broke up with him. Two months later I took him back. We were together for 7 months and he cheated on me 12 times this time! Hot damn, he got around. But I would never take him back agian.

SAB123 · May 4, 2007, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockabilly1955mama

I will sound completley stupid. But this is what I did...which was completley stupid of me.

I don't think you are stupid, I think you were just in love with him. And I hope one day he meets someone and she cheats on him. I kept taking my ex back to because I was in love with her.



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!