Hi all,

I was wondering if we can tell stories about our experiences with giving your partner a 'second chance'.

What made you decide to give it a second chance.
How it went.
Did it work out the second time around.

And finally...
Would you do it again?

sypher373

Jiser,

You gave her multiple chances and it didnt work, but you would do it again?

What do you think caused it not to work with the second and third chance? Was it that you resumed the relationship without examing what caused it to fail to begin with??

Just curious, if you dont mind me asking

Jiser

In all honesty I realize my mistakes. I gave her 100% practically all the time, i smothered her, textx + calls i gave her everything. I thought thats what a women/girl would want, candles, dinners, holidays nd stuff. Its not! I must of become a highly annoying, unattractive individual. Pressures of growing up, exams, school, all to much for her + me a 21 year old guy wanting it all. Life isint like that though. We had different inretests and she wasnt prepared to try them either - I am a very active person!

I am not saying however that my ex did things wrong - she did, she cheated on me with an ex - personally I believe she never got over him, hence why she has got a summer job where he works.

Each time we did break up we took it to fast again and she wanted me back within a week or two. I am hoping to build a friendship up with her over the next few months, maybe meet up at some point. Weve been speaking alot on IM recently but I am quite 'ok!' at the moment. I have some good friends, alot of hobbies and alot planned for this summer holidays.

Capuchin

Second chances are okay, mistakes are how we learn and how we grow. I believe that giving someone a second chance when they've learned from the mistake is a good thing to do. But making the same mistake more than once? Then I would start to get suspicious. I wouldnt want to be with someone who didnt want to learn or grow.

sypher373

Heres a question then,
How do you deal with someone who seems like they want a second chance some of the time??? It seems that when shes with me, when im home from school, she does - when im away, shes quite different. She claims shes busy with school and hanging out with friends...

Maybe I should just chalk it up to confusion

Jiser

Why are you with her then sypher? If its causing so much confusion. It there is any chance of a 'reconciliation' it will be in the future. This is why it is so important to give space to each other, to work on your life, what you want, your career, your friends, family and having fun.

Space gives you time to realize where you went wrong, to learn! In that time apart if you move on and don't want to keep a 'friendship' (used in a loose term) then thats all good and fine. However it takes two for a friendship and two for a relationship, if one party doesn't want in, then its not gonna happen and is key, if you don't have allot in common it may be hard to be friends.

talaniman

You deal with them by leaving them to there own confusion, and moving ahead with your life. Who has time for that nonsense drama????

Jiser

Too right tali, shouldn't really bother with drama!!! Unhealthy, its hard to let go, but it must be done!

SAB123

I realize me ex was full of drama and yes its hard to let go, but once you let go that person it get easier day by day. I miss her sometimes now but, I'm happier with out her.
and the pain in my heart is going away it's more of a friend missing.

Jiser

Give it time sab :P

sypher373

I agree, seems that trying to help someone with their confusion is quite impossible when your part of the reason for the confusion