i have this probem for years, if i meet someone and this person liked me and want to go out with me i give them my phone # to get to know them but then i got scared that if i go out with them they r not going to like me like they did when i met them by accident so i creat execused to not to see them again, i know i am scared of rejection after acceptence , my question is how do i let go of that fear and start dating like other people till i find the one, i do not go out at all although i have many guys i could call to take me out but i do not have the courage to face them and see if they still like me or they r going to continue liking me

gansada

nadia999

ok gansada, u said if they face me with full attention that means they just want to be friends, but how would i know they like me as agirlfriend

gansada

nadia999

thank u gansada

talaniman

You need some serious counselling dear, as their is no magic formula to overcome fear. The definition of courage is to act despite being fearful. You need courage.

valinors_sorrow

The trick to this is to remember we all are or have been scared just like you. This isn't like in the Wizard of Oz where you can be awarded some courage from a black bag.

Years ago I used to do a very silly thing as a result of that same fear you described so well. I created an "act", a mask to hide behind, thinking it would be better to show everyone that instead of the real me in case they rejected me. Funny thing was ... when my "act" wasn't liked or was rejected, I was just as hurt as if it had been the real me. LOL What a waste of time and effort! So I threw away the mask, showed the real me and learned to tolerate some people not liking or even approving of me. It happens but I have learned it is a very survivable event. So you can put up with living inside the vicious circle of fear you have constructed or you can get out there, mix it up, learn a few things along the way and discover how likable you are and by whom!

Gazzy

Rejection can be a powerful thing... If you let it...

What you have to think is if they don't like you, so what? It's them missing out, you know how good you are and how much love you can give... It's there loss, not yours, the right person will come along, but you can't be afraid to go on a date or what not with the person... They will have the fear of YOU not liking THEM aswell.

<3 Peace <3

nadia999

thank you guys, i really needed to hear something deep to help me with this fear i know every one has it but like u said talaniman i know this needs counceling, valinors i love your advice because it is exactly what i am doing , u know what i do if a guy likes me i start telling him that let's go out to find him a girlfried and for me a boyfriend even if i like him , i just do not want to be rejected so i reject before anything happen, i can not stand being in pain and waiting for the love i am looking for to love me back and care for me i am a very caring person and i would like someone care for me like i would for them, basically i did not want to be an idiot waiting for someone to love me , that is all because i know when i like some one i expect too much from them and i do not know how to balance that to be able to let go and let my emotions out and not being scared ,what i am doing up to now it is not working for me i am single and unhappy every one think i might be a lesbian because alot of guys like me but i am not in a relationship, thank u gazzy, u r absolutly right, they might be scared too, i just have to have this idea that they r scared too deep in my head , i just think every one is strong and i am the only weak one , i am waiting for your posts u all r very helpful, THANK YOU

Moonbay

They say that if you fear something so much then it will surely happen. Let loose and ignore your fear.