Scant Proof of cheating. Is it enough?

chimanb · #1 Sep 17, 2007, 04:40 PM

I wont make this too long, but stay with me here...
I had a vague haunch that my wife was cheating on me with several men while I was at work and thought I knew nothing of it.This happened last year, but I virtually stumbled upon the proof that it happened Its' not really definte proof, but one of them stole something from us (while in my house getting high with her), and we had a Huge argument (police called)... I realized that if I raised suspicion, she'd contact them to warn them that I might know. So, I found someone I could confide in and told them, and we both agreed that my wife should have ABSOLUTELY no reason to contact the former lover. I threw a bone out (seen John lately?) to see if she'd grab it and wouldn't you know, my confidant told me, she called him and asked how did I find out , and told him not to tell me anything!
Thats' all I have to go on. What should I do? We're close to divorcing anyway, I just don't want to go to my grave not knowing this, as she threatens to divorce me if she finds Im cheating (not).

Skell · Sep 17, 2007, 04:42 PM

Certainly sounds like enough to me. Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. If i were you id move out or get her out of the house. Why do you want to even be in the same vicinity as this women?

nauticalstar420 · Sep 17, 2007, 04:45 PM

It sounds like proof enough that she's doing something wrong, whether it be cheating or not.

Tell her you know something is up and to come clean with you. Tell her she cant be a hypocrite and threaten to divorce you, yet she can go out and be sneaky behind your back. Knowing what you know, you will know if she lies to you or not. If she lies, then you should have no reason to trust her, and marriage is based on trust.

nkychic · Sep 17, 2007, 04:53 PM

Like it was said below, Marriage is based on Trust (among other things obviously). Well whether or not that is enough to nail her for cheating is irrelevant, the important thing is that the trust is obviously no longer in this relationship. The fact that you even [i]think[i] she may be cheating shows you've lost any trust in her. Now do I think it's enough proof, as far as I'm concerned I'd say you've got a pretty good case on your hands. However in any case...what you've said alone is enough proof that this relationship has (or needs to) come to an end.

statictable · Sep 17, 2007, 06:55 PM

Watch your back, your money, your car, your kid/s and don't confront. Who manages the cell/land line phone records? If illicit drugs are involved try to set up a sting job; a police report can go a long way in a divorce.

losthusband · Oct 2, 2007, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimanb

I wont make this too long, but stay with me here...
I had a vague haunch that my wife was cheating on me with several men while I was at work and thought I knew nothing of it.This happened last year, but I virtually stumbled upon the proof that it happened Its' not really definte proof, but one of them stole something from us (while in my house getting high with her), and we had a Huge argument (police called)... I realized that if I raised suspicion, she'd contact them to warn them that I might know. So, I found someone I could confide in and told them, and we both agreed that my wife should have ABSOLUTELY no reason to contact the former lover. I threw a bone out (seen John lately?) to see if she'd grab it and wouldn't you know, my confidant told me, she called him and asked how did I find out , and told him not to tell me anything!
Thats' all I have to go on. What should I do? We're close to divorcing anyway, I just don't want to go to my grave not knowing this, as she threatens to divorce me if she finds Im cheating (not).

Go to radio shack and get a phone tap and a small tape recorder. You can find out anything you want to know. Shounds like she's really stupid to have men at your house. My wife had an affair and I found it out by tapping my phone. The biggest mistake was telling her what I did. After we tried to work it out she gave me many reasons not to trust her but I had given away my way of catching her. I regret to this day this day that I didn't suprise them at one of their sleezy meetings. Actually catching them in the act would have made her accecpt responsibility for what she did. She always thought if I didn't know the details it made it less terrible. You have a bad situation on your hands. If you don't have children then please get as far away from her as possible. She will never change and she will destroy you.

chimanb · Oct 3, 2007, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by losthusband

Go to radio shack and get a phone tap and a small tape recorder. You can find out anything you want to know. Shounds like she's really stupid to have men at your house. My wife had an affair and I found it out by tapping my phone. The biggest mistake was telling her what I did. After we tried to work it out she gave me many reasons not to trust her but I had given away my way of catching her. I regret to this day this day that I didn't suprise them at one of their sleezy meetings. Actually catching them in the act would have made her accecpt responsibility for what she did. She always thought if I didn't know the details it made it less terrible. You have a bad situation on your hands. If you don't have children then please get as far away from her as possible. She will never change and she will destroy you.

How do I go about attaching a Tap and a recorder on my phone, withour her seeing it?. I've checked the Internet, and devices are very expensive

smoothy · Oct 3, 2007, 09:37 AM

If you really got to know, pay a private investigator.

At least you can keep more of what you worked for if you can prove she was doing this.

In many places anyway.

Sdjosh · Oct 3, 2007, 09:48 AM

You need to protect yourself financially as well. All bills....loans....bank accounts....Retirements....



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