is it right to ask for no contact?

Stunning07 · #1 Mar 17, 2007, 01:02 PM

well peopel from my other post... my girlfreind of 2 years and best frined of 4 she said she wants to be single... enjoys being single, and says she cares alot for me and still would pick me over her freinds... etc... also says she likes me but does not feel that she loves me anymore... she's doing anything to help me out and also told me to let go... she said i problay will regret it one day but right now she cant help her feelins of how she feels.... i asked her nicely if we can stop contact... i told her ill give her a call some times jus to check up on her and she said the same... i plan on not talking to her for a couple weeks than slowly slowly building my way up for her freind ship.. hopefully one day settling down if its ment to be could i get any more advice from anyone if i did or doing the wrong thing SINCE THE BEINGING OF FEBUARY till now i've been kissing her butt, calling her wanting to talk to her kinda like begging her to come back i did wornng... its time for me to cut the cord... please thwo me some advice.. from past expirecae

also from peoples expieace do they usually come back? knowing how much and how long our relathiship lasted 2 years jus down the drain? what are the odds of it coming to an end for good... im sorry i just miss my baby.. just wanted to know the out comes in situations like mine..

sypher373 · Mar 17, 2007, 01:45 PM

Well I havent been through it yet, but I am gonig through it now.

I have also just brought up the point of stopping contact, so that hopefully i can heal, and not feel like I am being led on.

Personally, I think your making the right decision, and I know its hard. As of right now, each minute is harder than the last for me, and im sure its similar for you. Just try to keep busy.

After two years, im sure she knows you well enough to know you are not doing this in an way to cause her harm or pain, you just need to break from the reminders, and everyday conversations so that you can heal.

Think of it this way...If you dont heal now, you wont stand a chance of having a healthy friendship later... Would you rather keep grasping at something thats gone, or move to something which can be strong and lasting in the future?

Teaching · Mar 17, 2007, 04:03 PM

I think no contact helps to heal oneself and the other person. I think it is okay to ask for what you need.

EnglishRose · Mar 17, 2007, 04:11 PM

No contact os sooo painful, I have been there myself, but it is the best way. Atleast until you can honestly say that you are over the relationship. That might feel like it wil never happen but it does, in the end.

Teaching · Mar 17, 2007, 04:17 PM

It is very painful, however time will help, I promise.

Stunning07 · Mar 17, 2007, 05:20 PM

yes i underststand... i just keep wondering if she will come back....

Teaching · Mar 17, 2007, 09:27 PM

You just never know.....life gives us the unexpected sometimes. Have faith

TrueFaith · Mar 17, 2007, 09:54 PM

agreed man no conatact!.. it hurts like hell but in the end its the best way.. never ever beg somone to be with you.. always think that your so great to be around that people have to be stark raving mad! not to be with you.. and pitty them as shuch!..

because at the end of the day your the one that have to live with your self 24/7..

anyway man

if she does come back and you want her take it.. but dont wait around for it to happen just assume that it wont and go and enjoy your self.. your young good looking lot to offer.. go out there and have fun

good luck man

Stunning07 · Mar 22, 2007, 01:54 PM

well im keeping this no contact up right now... i figure i think she's talking to another guy... i was wondering... would it be okay if i could slowly slowly start bein her freind w/ a month of no contact.?

sypher373 · Mar 22, 2007, 02:11 PM

Personally I dont think anyone can answer how long it will take. It really depends on how your still feeling about her. I dont think it is a good idea to contact unless you can say you are totally over the realtionship. Speaking from expierence, I have slipped and made contact during no contact, and it always just set me back. I began to wonder if she still had feelings for me, and thats not something you want to put yourself through.

I say wait until you can confidentaly say that you are over the relationship, and no longer have intentions of getting back together, as you may end up hurting yourself more. Only you will know when you are truly over it.



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