ok im used to break ups with girls by now, and you give them their space and move on with your life, yadada...however this time I got involved with a very religious church going girl, and after a couple of sexual encounters...I noticed she was very hurt for what she did..I said I would make changes since i care about her, but she said she wants to focus on God, and she wants to bring him into our lives so things work out for us in a spiritual manner in the future, and the she said she loves me, but dont think we are ready to date since we arent doing it with the intent of marriage yet....This is something Im not used to dealing with during a break up, most girls just want to get you out the picture, not include you for a plan in the future. By the way, I do love this girl, but I dont know what the future holds, I could go along with this idea just to get hurt by her finding somebody else in the future(after all technically we arent in a relationship anymore.) I also dont know how to act, no contact is usually brilliant, but its not like she doesnt want me anymore, wont that push her away? should i act the way I was acting toward her before i was in a relationship? or should i treat her like shes nobody special...should i still pick u p whenever she calls? I really dont know what to do and could really use some help.
Sounds to me like her priorities do not match yours. The point of dating is to find compatability within each other and whether that leads to marriage or not is fairly premature to even consider. If I were you I would treat this like any other break up and move on. I just don't see how she plans on "dating" anyone if her entire purpose is to get married to the person she is dating. I have NEVER dated a girl with an original intent to get married.
Move on, disappear from her life and do your thing.
Sounds to me like her priorities do not match yours. The point of dating is to find compatability within each other and whether that leads to marriage or not is fairly premature to even consider. If I were you I would treat this like any other break up and move on. I just don't see how she plans on "dating" anyone if her entire purpose is to get married to the person she is dating. I have NEVER dated a girl with an original intent to get married.
Move on, disappear from her life and do your thing.
its not that easy though, i got to the same church now, and I working on myself, so Im not all wrapped into it like she is, not yet anyway, and I am going to still have to see her regardless, sadly shes not one of the type of people i can avoid due to circumstances...and like I said i do love her, which is something i dont feel to often...and am a 100% sure she will be calling me, so if i want any possibility in the future with this girl, i just want to know what my best moves should be...
I guess the best moves would be to act like a gentlemen and just be yourself. Be casual, but don't make it a point to go after her or get a hold of her. Seems like a lot of confusion to me, but it's your call.
So she's into pre-marital casual sex AND wants to focus on god?
i wouldnt say casual, she was my girlfriend after all, and religion just came into her life like two years ago, so im sure anybody would slip up now and then when they going out with somebody...
If you want to pursue dating, and religion, go for it, it may work, if you both agree on the boundaries your working within. It may work, it may not, but thats the risk of any relationship.
Notice I said, "if you both agree on the boundaries your working within", That means COMPROMISE, not all her way, or not all your way.
Thats what would make my decision, whether or not, you both are willing, to work together, to resolve your issues thru honest communications, to the benefit of you both.
If you want to pursue dating, and religion, go for it, it may work, if you both agree on the boundaries your working within. It may work, it may not, but thats the risk of any relationship.
Notice I said, "if you both agree on the boundaries your working within", That means COMPROMISE, not all her way, or not all your way.
Thats what would make my decision, whether or not, you both are willing, to work together, to resolve your issues thru honest communications, to the benefit of you both.
Sound fair to you??
lol, i was waiting for your input, but at the same time, is it wrong to be availiable or talk to long when she calls or comes up to more or anything? as i said im not trying to push her a way with clingyness
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