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    Suger1's Avatar
    Suger1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 15, 2011, 06:56 PM
    Relationship Trouble
    Hi, I have being dating my boyfriend for the past 10 months and recently in the past month I have seen a different side to him. Controlling and possessive, i.e. getting mad at me when I do stuff with my friends, losing his temper at me when he says I don't pay enough attention to him when we out in a group, texting me the whole time, and always on my tail, and wanting to know where I'm at when I'm out. He doesn't like me doing things without him, and in the past month he has had 2 episodes of outburst at me, shouting, and yelling (never hit). I told him to go get help, and he has.

    To the point, I am finding my relationship really hard, I am 19 years of age. I have came from a troubled teenage life, and I am not sure I want to be in the relationship.
    Should I break up with him?

    I don't know what to say. What should I say that is calm, as he has an awful temper. Should I have someone on standby in my house?

    I am very scared to break up with him, because I don't know what his after reactions will be. Will he continue getting help?

    I just can't be with him anymore, he is so pushy, 80% of the time always wants sex.
    I will appreciate any help, please. Xx
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Aug 15, 2011, 08:52 PM

    You tell friends and family what's up, and tell him with your family in the house, watching your back. He has no self control, and is dangerous, and getting him out of your life is absolutely the right thing to do, whether he gets help or not.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #3

    Aug 15, 2011, 09:17 PM

    You must break up with him.
    He's a possessive control freak and his behaviour will only change after years of therapy- if at all.
    That's not your problem though,you need to make sure that you end it in safe surroundings and that you keep safe.
    Take care.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 17, 2011, 06:13 AM
    What kind of help is he getting? If he is in therapy for anger management or something along those lines to address his behaviour, is he there because he wants to change, or is he there as an ultimatum for you to stay in the relationship- in other words, going for all the wrong reasons.

    Because you had a troubled teenage life, your instincts are probably leading you in the right direction to break up with him. Instinct is probably telling you also to make sure you are safe when you do. It is a good idea to have someone with you.

    As you have described him, it is likely that just telling him won't be enough. IF there is trouble when you break up, be prepared to get a restraining order. Follow through with being very clear with him that you will not tolerate ANY contact.


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