Relationship is put on hold because she is grieving, what should i do?

ineedadvice · #1 Aug 30, 2007, 11:26 PM

Hey,

I just need advice on what to do.

Me and my girlfriend have just recently been dating. We're both 21. We both lost a really good friend whos VERY important in our life. I don't want to give out specifics because it hurts to much to explain.

She told me that she had to put the relationship on hold because she's confused and needs time to figure things out. I understand so i've given her all the space in world. Despite this tremendous loss to both of us, i don't want to end up losing her as well.

I guess what im trying to say is, will her feelings change? She told me not to wait for her because she doesn't want me to hurt if she doesn't end up coming back. She said she still has feelings for me, its just a point in her life where she just wants to be alone.

I've backed off, and pretended like our relationship never existed. I have to admit its difficult but its a billion times worse for her, and its just not my place to ask her to be with me. That would just be selfish.

So here i am waiting for her... and hurting because i just lost a good friend, and hurting because i do want to be with her. What should i do to make sure i don't lose her too?

HELP PLEASE.
Thanks in advance.

anonymous122809 · Aug 30, 2007, 11:48 PM

she's in shock.
give her some time & space,
& when she's ready, she'll come back.

Trouble321 · Aug 31, 2007, 06:23 AM

everyone deals with grief in a different way.
A close friend of mine lost his daughter last year and while all he wanted was to be closer to his wife, she wanted just the opposite.
Unfortunately there is not much you can do in this situation except to give her what she asked for. She needs some time and space to deal with her grief.
I'm sure she knows she can reach out for you if she needs to.

Dennis777 · Aug 31, 2007, 07:18 AM

Hello.

Be her Friend right now and as a friend don't ask questions just be there for her. As a friend you would never just let your frined deal with this much pain alone would you. let her know your there for her, send her a note every few days to let her know your there if she needs you. Right now she is pulloing the world inside her but at the same time she needs Love and support so don't push her but don't let her feel alone in her time of need.

Dennis777



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