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    Shrey1's Avatar
    Shrey1 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 27, 2014, 03:59 PM
    Relationship problem.
    Me and my boyfriend are together since three years. It all started through social networking site. He loves me so much and our parents also know about our relation and they are happy. But I am with him just because he loves me and care about me as if I am his child. And I too have feelings for him now. But whenever he touches me or kiss me I don't feel anything. One reason is that during foreplay it seems that he does not love my body. We are more like friends. He never initiates anything sexual ever. Why I don't feel anything? Is anything wrong with me? Or is it due to his behavior?

    We both are 23 :-)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Feb 27, 2014, 04:42 PM
    You never once mentioned in your post that you love him. You stated many times that he loves you, but never once that you love him.

    It sounds like you're with him because you feel you should be, and only because he loves you. That can play a huge part in your sex life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Feb 27, 2014, 04:53 PM
    I think you are in love with just the idea of having someone. But you are not in love with HIM. There is no connection.
    Shrey1's Avatar
    Shrey1 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 28, 2014, 06:03 AM
    Okay,I want to tell some more things.
    When I came in contact with him I was not emotionally well.I was going through a tough time.I wanted a shoulder to cry on.I never felt very much attached to my parents.There was no one with whom I could talk.And then he came.He helped me to came out of that state.
    He made me see the beauty of life.He taught me how to love.I started loving my life and more importantly my parents.I changed.
    And he did this sitting miles away from me.We only met once in 3-4 months.
    Now I am a strong girl,know my goals and enjoy my life to the fullest.
    I got a chance to live with him in the same city for 5-6 months.We used to meet every next day.We talked,enjoyed and got a chance to know each other better.He was there whenever I was in any difficulty,helping me in every possible way.
    But now I have to move to other city due to my job.
    Yes,I don't love him.We don't have that spark in our relationship.But we are best friends.I feel so relaxed when he is around me.All the negativity vanishes when I am with him.I trust him more than anyone on this planet.We are not sexually active.But whenever he touches me I don't feel anything.I never feel anything special when he touches me or whenever he is with me.But I feel very comfrotable with him.
    So what should I do.Should I be satisfied and be happy with what I have bcoz not everyone get everything.Or should we end this relationship bcoz something important is missing which could cause problem in future?
    :)
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Feb 28, 2014, 07:06 AM
    Would it be fair to HIM if you pretend for years and at some point walk awaywhen you do meet someone where that spark exists... and you give the excuse of " well I never really loved you anyway"... how would that be fair to him... wasteing all that time on someone who is there because she considers him a friend... and its convenient.

    Put yourself in his shoes... you loved them... but they stuck around for the same reasons you are. How would you feel?

    Be honest with him about this and let him make his decision based on knowing this... he might still stick around... but then it would not be under false pretexts at least.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 28, 2014, 07:23 AM
    Quite possible you have outgrown this relationship and have a problem either breaking the attachment you have gotten use to, like a comfort zone/security blanket, and cannot bring yourself to an honest discussion on the future with him.

    It's no shame to have a change in feelings, but be honest about it.

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