The one that I drove away.
Any suggestions on the best way of dealing with regret and loss?

Previous post, lost the best I had, own fault, messed up. Very Naive and did not realise the girls feelings to me would change. Stupidly always thought she would regret that we did not work out and even if others were on the scene, I could get her back. I did not realise the true benefits of a relationship, i.e. the emotional interest of the person. I did not realise that that is what really goes when the relationship ends ! Miss that person so much now. She is married, so I cant even talk to her. Yet now have to live the rest of my life with that regret! It’s been years and it still haunts me… Never really moved on. I get very down about it.

Any practical advice?

talaniman

Read the stickies, and keep your azz off the pity pot. Time to cope, not mope!

heartbrokenguy

Agree with Tal. done is done so learn from the mistakes done in the past.

Chery

Tal, can't rate you twice today,but you said it perfectly!

Dear 4answers.

Don't you think that it's time that you took your life back into your hands and set yourself some realistic goals and go for them, instead of crying over spilled milk?

Ask yourself why you are putting your life on hold knowing that it's not taking you anywhere but deeper down that black hole of nothingness. Is that what you really want for yourself? You are not the only one in this world who has loved and lost, and you too will survive it and find the happiness you deserve. But, it's not going to happen if you sit at home and mope. Take control of your life again and give yourself another chance.

Start with doing some of the things you used to enjoy doing before you met her and go out with friends at least once a week WITHOUT bringing up the 'poor me' subjects. Even if you have to put on an act at first, but listen to what is out there in the world and open up and start enjoying it again.

Do as Tal said, read the stickies - see that you are not alone.. and get up and do something constructive instead of destructive.

Let me know what things in life that you used to enjoy.. I really would like to know.

Talk to you later.. Turn off that faucet and LIVE!

4answers

I just wish I had been more aware of my own needs at the time. More emotionaly mature so that I would realise what I would lose.

I will always love and hate her, as well as hate myself for doing this. I have caused myself years of bitter lonliness and pain....

I dont receive emotional interest of women so this does not help my situation.

(I assumed she looked at the breakup the same as me, that it was with regret that it did not work out between us. - However it seems she is pleased we are not together and we will never talk again... Ouch).

srulik86

reading your post has really helped me. because right now i know that i love my gf im just very scared of getting hurt by her as i have done in the past, hence i am very paranoid a lot. part of me wants to walk away, but i know in the future i will regret it!

hjpan