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My recent BreakUp but its different from others? So confused!
A note before, I am 17 and this is more of a highschool love relationship kind of deal, but felt like so much more.
So here I am, I tried doing it on my own, but now I need some advice so here is my story.
I was going out with this girl for close to 1 and a half years, things were smooth for the most part with little things here and there. It all started in june when rumors went around about how she cheated on me... (which was 4 months ago at the time) I already knew about this incident (at the time 4 months ago) and came to the conclusion that she didn't cheat. I also came to the conclusion on who started the rumors and it may have been caused by jealousy from another party kind of deal. So anyways things were rocky for a couple weeks then there was a major death in the family and things just dropped from there and that was it I thought. Within the next day I got a call from her and we talked and things grew smooth and we kinda got back together. Then the next week she for some reason just had enough. Meanwhile she asked for space back in June and I gave her as much as she needed (but nothings good enough right?) So I tried reasoning with her and kind of explaining why shes feeling this way and she took some time and eventually agreed. This went on an off for a while until finally I had enough emotionally and I called her and we both mutually ended it. After that I got a new job and constantly worked as much as I could to keep my mind off things.
I can call myself a religious person and I asked God to show me I didn't need her one day. And the next day I noticed a girl and she noticed me and we started talking a little bit, the next couple of days I got her number. But then I met up with my ex to get back and give back stuff. I will leave out a major detail that I can work around for respect purposes on her part (nothing to do with us or anything). But we started talking and out of nowhere a spark just lit and I fell in love with her again after trying so hard to forget her for that entire month. I stopped talking to the new girl I met cause I couldn't stop thinking about my ex.
To cut this story short, it seems like every week I would almolst get over her and then she would call or something and it would come back a little, most of the time I would shrug the feeling off.
But now its worse, I talked to her for a long time, I drove her to some places when she needed a ride (this is all within the last 2 weeks). And one time she said how I looked hot in my new car, and later on in the ride when she was leaving she said she still misses me. I swear it feels like I am falling in love again, but when I seem to even hint at the fact of us being together she seems to run away. Maybe she just needs more time?? This is so hard emotionally its like shes playing with my heart. Today was the worse, I dropped her off at home and she hesitated to get out of the car (I notice alot of things/body language) And I asked her why she hesitated she said I dunno and stalled by saying something else, then somehow she said why do you want a kiss goodbye? And all I could say on the spot was no talk to you later. I miss her soo much now and some nights I will have a dream about being with her again and its driving me insane! Should I bite the bullet and let go or do you think it could be something more??
NO CONTACT. She is using you as an emotional crutch, a ride giver, etc. She doesn't really want you she wants the idea of you. You are eating out of her hand. You need to decide what you want to be free from her grasp or under her thumb?
How do you know Chuff if there is your first post here in AMHD?
I guess u had another user name before, so what was your story before that? Are there connections if there were more stories? It will be more helpful to read more for us to determine ur case.
Thanks, Good advice but maybe its not all that complicated? I mean its a high school relationship... could it be that she realized she made the mistake of saying bye because of the death in her family, which really hurt her. And now she wants to try again, but at the same time is to... shy? to say it right upfront in fear of me or peers thinking bad of her for dumping me and then going back out with me???
Here is a lesson to learn if someone can walk away from you let them. It doesn't matter if its high school relationship or a "real" relationship. you have to have self respect and boundaries in a relationship. whats next she fails a test and dumps you? Most people have their friends especially their significant others rally around them during a tragedy.
Also regardless of high school or real life women are women. When some women break up they lean on their ex, give them false hope, keep them around to boost their own ego, lead them on, etc. This type of behavior has no age limit.
Yes I did have another account but I made this one because my other account had my e-mail address for the user name and people were e-mailing me about responses and spam etc.
There is more to the story but for respect to her I kind of want to keep it quiet. I can tell you this, I as supposed to go to the viewing/funeral for her grandma and I got all dressed up and then 2 hours after the time that was given for a pickup she Txted me saying she was running late and couldnt bring me, so I txted her back saying at least have the decency to call me I am so humiliated. Also the past few weeks from that shes was canceling things. I know I should not of said that but later on in the day she called me and I aswered happily and then she freaked out because she took what I said all wrong. So I finnaly convinced her over the net to call me and then I explained myself, because she thought I meant I was humiliated by her family, but I was humiliated cause my family was shocked and I didnt know what to say to my family about it. So anyways we talked and it turned out that whole thing was a misunderstanding.
Thats about it other than a few small unimportant things. Thanks!
Glinda, what you say is very clear to me. And I did let her walk away until she came back kind of thing. But couldn't there be that small chance that it could be real? Is there anyway to test it? I just in the back of my mind don't want to walk away from this if theres still a chance...
-also I left thing out thinking it was not relevant until now. She said this once a few weeks ago, that her mom and dad were getting fed up with me because I was "calling" to much?? Because she would always call me many times per day, and once I started actually calling her more than usual during the rough times in June her mom got mad at me, and my ex said that her mom and dad pressured her into calling quits and focusing on life and taking it easy because of the death.
I am meeting up with her in a few minutes, and she said she has been thinking, hopefully all goes well? If anyone has anymore advice I would still love it! And thanks to everyone who has already helped
I talked to her today and she said that she does want to see me again kind of deal, but she said things are tough and she wants to take it easy for a bit... Later on in the day she said she really wants to be with me but her parents are making it really tough for her. Any ideas?
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