My ex and I dated for about 3 years starting in our 11th grade year, and ending about a month ago, just as we were about to start our second year of college. We made it through one year of going to colleges about 45 minutes apart with no problems, it made our relationship stronger. We were very happy with each other even the morning when we broke up, but in the heat of a fight we decided we should break up, I asked her the next day if we should get back and she said No but that she was open to getting back together, she just wanted to be single and see if this is what she wants. I asked her and all of her friends if it was another guy, or if she was interested in looking for another guy and she said no that was the last thing she was looking to do.
I decided to give her space and we haven't talked for a month, I still don't think she is ready to talk so I'm going to give her more space, but at the same time, I'm always thinking about her. Should I just move on? Or should I continue to give her space and try to get her back after another month or two?
yeah, an hour apart, and one of the first things i asked her when we broke up was if she wanted to just date other people n she said no that was the last thing on her mind
An hour apart isn't so bad. Are there any transportation issues involved here, other than time?
Thanks!
No i have a car, and last year neither of us had cars, we took the bus to and from to visit each other, so that wasnt an issue we had a lot of the stuff planned out, but since she seemed so happy and hten all of hte sudden broke up wiht me and doesnt want to talk about it im confused
it sounds like things were already getting rocky. is that fair to say? if you tried to break up a month before. and then did you say you walked out? but then when you tried to come back to her she wouldn't take you back? did i understand that right? if i were in her shoes, i'd do the same. i wouldn't want to be in a committed relationship with someone who kept trying to break things off.
If anyone needs closure, it is she. You were the one who first talked about breaking up and nearly gave her a heart attack. I'm sure that started her thinking so that when you two had that fight, her mind was on "breakup."
For closure, you need to be honest with yourself as to why you brought up a breakup in the first place ("when i tried to break up with her about a month earlier, she about had a heart attack and cried and begged until i took her back"). Do you want to look around and date other young women? Are your studies too overwhelming, and you don't want the distraction of a long-distance romance? Have you fallen out of love with this young woman, and don't want to put in the time and energy any longer?
I suggest you avoid any further communication with her--for her sake.
It sounds like your relationship was a bit toxic anyway and there could be many reasons she won't tell you , it could be she is just not prepared to talk at the moment or something as left field as she has someone else so doesn't want to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings more.
Sorry to be harsh but the fact of the matter is it's not her responsibility to give you closure as you are no longer together. You give yourself closure by accepting the fact your broken up and start with your healing by not contacting her.
Might be... but, I think that more information is needed here. Men or women might have different perspectives as to what is going on.
He tried to break up with her.
She almost had a heart attack.
A small fight developed that escalated into her saying, "Okay, let's break up."
A month went by - he's feeling good, has moved on.
He (for some reason) asked her for closure, and she got upset.
He wonders why she broke up with him, when, in fact, it was just the opposite. He planted the seed, and is now reaping his harvest.
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