Hi. The guy i've been dating for the last 5-6 months is less than a year out of 30 year marriage. When i met him he told me he was already divorced, which was a lie, and has been separted for over a year, which was another lie.
a few months ago he told me the truth. come to find out, he has told me other lies to keep me hanging around.
basically to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak.
he said from the beginning he wasn't ready to be my boyfriend, but proceeded to pursue me heavily and keep me dangling on a string.
this weekend his away at this dance festival he had originally invited me to, but then he said he wanted to "try alone." he actually lied about that as well at first telling me it was sold out, so i couldn't buy a ticket. i found out that was a lie and confronted him with the info. he finally admitted after some questioning that he wants to date other women, but "isn't looking for another lover." another lie, i assume. he was all flustured when he told me he wanted to go alone, saying he'd like to spend a weekend away with me sometime, he'll see me soon, etc.
clearly another ploy to keep me waiting around for him, while he's off doing whatever he wants to do, with whoever he wants to do it with.
I can objectively understand him not wanting to be in a relationship at this time, but lieing to me is so hurtful as is keeping me at bay for his convenience.
it's hard to think he really gives a at this point.
a few days ago i emailed him and said i was really depressed and needed some space. he emailed me back that day and left a voice message, both of which i didn't respond to.
i haven't heard from him since (3 days) and he didn't call to say goodbye before he left for the dance festival.
i don't want to talk to him or see him anymore.
do you think he'll care much when i don't respond to any of his messages. i'm sure he thinks i'll be right there waiting for him when he gets back. do you think he'll miss me when i'm gone?

N0help4u

You know he is bad for you. You know you NEED to do no contact so WHY is it soooooo
important to you that he miss you? If you are not seeing him what does it matter how much or how often he does or does not think of you?
If you can't get over him thinking of you then you either have an obsession or you are very codependent on what others think.

dancerwriter

hi. thanks for your support. i didn't read the posts until right now cuz i didn't realize i had to turn the page!
the reason i am so upset is because i am worried about myself. if it's not this guy, it'll be another one just like him. i have REALLY poor instincts when it comes to relationships. i just get so attached and love someone blindly. that's what worries me. and i pour my whole self into them and helping them, thinking they will do the same thing back and they don't.
i was in a total fantasy about my future with this guy, which was fostered by his lies.
i hate breaking up. it makes me so lonely.
he actually just called and left a message. i haven't responded. proud of me?!
i got upset about taliman's comment cuz telling me i'm screwed up is obvious and hurts even more. i'm too sensitive for that. the intention behind it may have been good, but it came out bad.

N0help4u

Then your concern should not be what he thinks but rather what can you do different.
You need to get on with your life and be more careful about who you trust.
I have the same problem when I am with a guy I tell them everything and they make up in their head how they think I am anyway. I have learned that it is not good to poor your heart out. When you do too much for a guy they think they can get over on you easier so it is better to just treat them like you aren't all that interested.

dancerwriter

you didn't say how good it is i didn't call him back!

N0help4u

It is very good. You need to keep up the good work!