Last summer I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years to see another man. The other man was someone I was only acquainted with in my youth, but after several years of not seeing or even thinking of each other we instantly clicked. Though my now ex-boyfriend and I were not on solid ground for a few months, itt was a really messy situation and if I could go back I would have not been so careless with people's feelings, but it happened, so I can't change that.
First off, I know I shouldn't have jumped immediately into a new relationship after 6 years. But I see lots of potential in him. The problem is that I still care very much for my ex and want to be in touch with him, especially since he was wonderful to talk/rant to, especially about financial and professional topics...something my new boyfriend is not so great at. However, I know being in touch with my ex --with him knowing I'm with someone else-- kills him.
Is it really THAT wrong to continue contacting him, even if my ex says it's okay? I want him to move on especially since my feelings for him changed a while ago, but I also know that he can't move on if I keep running back to him. I know I'm being selfish by going to my ex just to rant about non-relationship advice...but he was my best friend. He knows me inside and out and I wish I could still talk to him. I can talk to my boyfriend now and we're very open, but some topics I just know my ex would understand immediately. Should I just leave him alone? If so, should I leave him alone FOREVER? I can't imagine that...
A great many people don't fare well with ex's as friends so don't be surprised if you run into more and more unanswered calls or even an outright request not to call anymore. And yes, there is a somewhat selfish rub in attempting to create an arrangement of essentially having your cake and eating it too, isn't there? Careless with people's feelings is your word for it, perhaps. But then maybe "killing him" once isn't enough, you need to kill him over and over-- again, your words...?
Yes you are right. It is extremely selfish. He doesnt want to be used for conversation about finance.... c'mon..
He loved you and you broke his heart. He will always feel that pain!
the last thing he needs is you contacting him.
Please leave him alone. No more contact for any reason whatsoever. If you really want him to move on then you must do that!
you are continuing to be careless with his feelings now by contacting him.
You have already destroyed this man once. Dont continue to do so for your own selfish reasons. You may mean well but in actually fact it is anything but a good idea.
Yes, the kindest thing you could do for him is to leave him totally and completely alone. Given the way you feel (or don't feel), he needs to move on and that won't happen if you keep going back to him and giving him false hope. Actually, he should know better as well and make it a point not to have any contact with you, even if you initiate it. However, the decent thing for you to do now is to stay away from him.
I think you meant to leave him alone 'forever', else you wouldn't have dumped him. You should figure out what it is you want in a companion, and realize that the person you fall in love with for life may NOT have everything you are looking for, but they might end up being everything you aren't and love them regardless.
Linear Mode
