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Is it really over?
Asked May 28, 2012, 10:33 PM
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28 Answers My boyfriend and I have been fighting and breaking up a lot of times for the past months. We are in a long distance relationship and in addition, he is in the military training. Before he entered the military, we always fight for the reason that I always accuse him of meeting other girl even if i don't have any proof or when he reply to my messages late. Another reason why we fight is when I complain for his late replies and start to flood him with messages. My boyfriend usually break up with me when we fight for the reason that he thinks I don't stop until he says the words "we're done". But after some episodes of begging him to stay, he stays and give me chances. This already happened several times. Nowadays, we can only communicate once a week since he is in the military. 3 weeks ago, we fought because he got a vacation from his training so he went outside, but when he started replying late, I started accusing him that maybe he is dating a girl, when he got fed up, again he said we are done and he couldn't take anymore the stupid things I keep on saying. I begged for him to stay but he didn't answer anymore. That time I thought it is for real. After 3 days he got a chance to use a phone, so he sent me a message. I asked him to give me a chance so he did but according to him he is sure it will happen again. After that, for 3 weeks we didn't fight anymore but I notice something strange about him, although he still says I love you before I say it, I think he is a bit dry. He used to call me "My Love" but this time he doesn't cal me like that anymore. When I ask him if something is wrong he just answer nothing and I am just thinking too much (which I also consider because I worry about what I have done). After 3 weeks he got a vacation again, and when we got a chance for a video call I saw his face looking so stressful. He doesn't smile, and when I ask him to smile he said "I don't smile well, sorry, but I don't mean anything" and he added "I've been living like this lately and even you don't like it, it's already me" (he is talking about the stressful training in military). Because of that I asked him again if we are really fine, he got a bit annoyed and said "I told you it's not about you" but I still asked. Finally he got fed up and hang the call. That night until the other day I didn't receive any message from him and though I kept asking him to reply he didn't give me any. Later I kept on flooding him with messages asking him to tell me what is the meaning of his silence (thinking it might mean break up) until finally he got fed up again and replied "we are done. I was planning to be okay but because of what you are doing I can't be okay anymore. Goodbye and take care". I asked him to stay but he didn't reply anymore. The next day I asked him if it's really over and if won't he come back anymore but he answered "we are done, I won't go back to you. I already gave you chances" and even I tried to beg him he didn't reply anymore after that. Do you think it's really final and over? |
28 Answers
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I know I have problem and I am willing to change.. but do I still have chance? Or you think he is really gone? | ||||
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| I don't know if he will be back, or if you have a chance at him coming back. I seriously doubt he would be in a hurry for the same old thing to happen again. Especially if you are blowing up his phone with texts and messages like before. Work on your change and see what happens with the rest. Leave him alone and let him decide for himself what he wants to do. How many chances do you think you will get? You seem to have squandered many already. | ||||
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| if he did give you a chance, i'd think there was something wrong with him! All he wants to do is make something of himself, have a loving, supporting and trusting partner back home, and you were making that extremely hard for him to balance both. i think you should break all contact, work on yourself and work on your trust issues, then maybe re-establish contact once he has finished his training. that will give you both space, and if he still doesn't want to know, or has met someone else who understands his commitment to his job, then at least you tried and you can move on and maybe find a partner who doesn't work away for his job to make sure you feel more secure. Good luck =) | ||||
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| guys mean what they say when they need space... they really do just need space! while us girls want to sit and talk, guys want time to chill out, think it over, and maybe go out with the lads. that is probably what is bothering him, if it's not about trusting him, it's about nagging him about what's up. either way, nagging him won't do any good. if he says he is not feeling too good for whatever reason, and he doesn't say anything more, let him talk to you, assure him you are there for him, but don't keep pestering him, he will (and is, by the sound of it) resent you for it | ||||
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