"I really like you, but I still love my ex of 10 yrs!"

I wouldn't call it pessimistic as much as I would expierence. From the 8 or 9 months I have been on this site, I have yet to hear a success story in where the girl went back after a break. I mean if you read through all the posts on this site, there aren't many success stories are there?

True...you have a point..the chances are slim..and that's why I say I'm not expecting anything...think of it this way, if I was scared of rejection and knew the chances were not to my favor, I would have walked away and saved myself some pain..BUT, instead I'm still in the game in a way...which either shows I'm really smart or really stupid :P....only one way to find out, and I'm willing to risk that for this girl (i only fall for a few girls)

And hey, there's a first time for everything

I'm not pessimistic at all, and if you follow my posts, its about being healthy and realistic. Your female isn't the poor, helpless, confused, thing you think she is, and has her own motivations for doing things. My point is, make your decisions based on facts, and not feelings, because despite what females say, its their actions that reveal the true intentions. That with all us humans.

I also suspect there is something your not telling, because you seem mighty invested for a 4 month dating thing. Especially since a player like yourself is hung up on this female, and should know full well, it takes more than the feelings of one to make a relationship. As long as you play "the game" by her rules, you lose.

Could this be about ego? Or you just have to prove you got it? I don't know, but you seem to spend way to much time trying to accomplish what? What does a player do when he gets what he wants?

He moves on, as there is no more thrill in the chase.

I think she's probably moved on.

But, I'm glad you can accept it and can be friends.

1) I disagree, she IS confused..but you are right, she also knows what she is doing...she doesn't want to decide on anything before she knows where her job puts her; stay in dubai or go back to ukraine for 6mnths

2) her actions tell me she still has feelings....no, scratch that..she TOLD me point blank she still likes me (during one of those long phone convos we had in which she didn't want me to hang up and kept flirting with me)...so there is no doubt there is still smthg there, or else I would have been out of the pic 3 weeks ago when the break up happened! I'm no fool, I don't waste my time on a girl that doesn't want me...but I know she still does

3) I like how your trying to analyze me :P....I never said I was a player..that is an ugly word...I just like being single, partying, meeting different girls, etc...most of my adult life has been single with dating girls for a max of one or two months..nothing special...I have only fell for 2 girls, my ex of 5yrs which ended because she wanted marriage and I wasn't ready yet, and now this ukranian girl for 4 months...the reason I'm so "invested" is because she has everything I want in a girl and more..we just click...we didn't fight once in 4 mnths! I can't explain it..but I have been in dubai for 1 year now...the 4mnths with her were better than the 8mnths I was single in! (mind you I had my first threesome during that time )...I rarely "invest" in a girl, but she was definitely worth my "money"

Its not about ego..trust me...she knows I can go out now and pick up a girl...some used to call me when I was with her..and she would see me ignore their calls...I don't have to prove anything to anyone...

And the chase is not over, the thrill is still there...because actually, now I realized how much she means to me

Hope I'm shedding light on why I care so much....all your advices are sound, and to be honest would probably give them myself to some poor sap on this webpage, but you guys have to be in my place to fully understand...I'm keeping my expectations low but am strong to handle whatever may result (i think)

As for ASH123: what makes you think she FULLY moved on?...and yeah, if all goes down the drain, I won't mind being friends with her..just like I'm still friends with my ex of 5yrs...when I told her that I want you to be happy even if its not with me, I really meant it because I do care about her purely

I know I stated I wasn't going comment anymore but I wanted to point something out to you.
First you say:sure she started talking to him again, and told me to take it slow..but it is no way a "break up", as is in just leave me alone.

Then you say: there is no doubt there is still smthg there, or else I would have been out of the pic 3 weeks ago when the break up happen.

Was there an actual break- or not?

First you say:she was the one who said she loved you first. Then you say, she only likes me. Which one was it?

Tal stated you were a player because you stated it in your eariler post. Now you say, player is a ungly word but yet you used it and associated it with your name.

Also, you can win someone heart when it is there to be won. What your going do win half or 1/4 of her heart?

1) Welcome back lizzie!

2) well, it WAS a break up in the sense we aren't together anymore...but NOT a break up in the sense that she still has feelings and is confused...when I break up with someone it means "leave me alone"..her break up was more of a "lets take it slow, give me time and space I am confused"...if I felt she didn't care about me anymore, I would have left 3 weeks ago

3) what I said was, until I left for vacation for 3 weeks...we used to tell each other I really like you, I really care about you, etc...one night she messaged me "i love u", and when I called her the next day, she said she was just feeling emotional because she missed me so much, but she wants to tell me it in person when I get back from my vacation...but we never got the chance...so lets say she really likes me and I really like her, but if things continued great with us (and she didn't get the warning at work), we definitely would be telling each other "i love u" now

4) I'm a player in the sense I like meeting different women and like to be single and party and travel...but NOT a player in the sense that I cheat on women and treat them badly and lie to them...never have, never will...in fact, the reason my relationships last 1-2 mnths is because I'm honest and break up with them first before I do smthg with someoen else...I have a younger sister, so I treat women the way I want guys to treat her..with respect and honesty

5) of course I want her full heart...I know she wasn't FULLY over her ex while she was with me, but she was moving on and things were amazing with us...UNTIL the warning at work, stress etc. Came and her past came back in the pic...so I want her back, then we'll go back to working on moving on and continuing where we stopped

Thats just too condenscending, for a guy who is one of thousand trying to get their "girl" back.
Its been a while for some of us, but you are far from unique. Especially on this forum.

You still hold on to confused huh! So be it.

No disrespect to anyone,in here I'm just like the rest of these guys..true

And yes, still hanging on to confused...because of all the examples I've said in my posts, because I'm the one living the situation, and because she told me straight out she still likes me..you have to trust me on this one...

If I was sure she FULLY wanted me out of her life or only FULLY as a friend, would have been gone long time ago my friend

Take care

Given all the facts: ukraine, old boyfriend, job stress, new culture, new place, "confusion" and flirting in bars.....she is clearly not serious. How old is she? 25? Has she gone to college? What is her relationship with her parents? What is her financial situation? What happened with her EX? How did they break up? How many friends does she have in dubai?

Since you have not had many serious girlfriends I know this feels really special - especially since she's making you work - but I am not sure yet this is too much.

Look at these questions and i'll see.

Also, what do you do?