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Hey guys, this might be beneficial to many of us including me. Yeah i'm carrying out the NC rule now after breaking and bla bla bla about my thread. But i want to ask here on something.
What is the main purpose of NC rule? For example, Is it the time period for both side to be healed? If so, whats next? Do you use NC rule regardless of whatever your break up situation is whether you're the breakee or breaker? I just want to get this clear thats all.
On behalf on whoever who is wondering about this, thank you in advance.
The main purpose of NC is to protect yourself, by removing the object (the ex) out of your life. its to help you heal. and also give yourself a break to see how you feel.
i think alot of people dont want there ex's back whilst doing NC. this is after the hurt is at its least.
NC -Breaking up is to heal and move on
NC- taking a break is to clear your head and reflect on what you need to work on and change
NC-breaker or breakee-neither is suppose to have an upper hand on being able to contact
NC means NC
Do not use it as a manipulating thing to try and make the other do what you want.
I keep seeing this topic mentioned lately, is there that many break-ups in the summer months?
Anyway, the above posters sum it up nicely. I will add though that many think their break-up story is unique, that NC may not apply because their situation is so complex and different than all others...it's really not.
The pain and hurt associated with a break up is akin to the pain one feels when placing their hand on a hot stove, it may vary in degree depending on how long they've held it there but the pain is similar. You don't like the pain so you stay away from the stove. How or why or when you burnt yourself, how it came to pass, what circumstances were involved is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is that it hurts and what can you do to stop the pain.
No contact, in our context, is a recovery process. It applies when someone is no longer objective about his or her feelings. When the person analyses every little detail. When he or she continues to have false hope, but there is actually no hope. When the person acts desperate and cannot control his or her emotions.
* No contact should be implimented until both of people have recovered from the events. Otherwise, we just end up dragging out the recovery procress.
No contact requires us to distance ourselves from that person until we have recovered from these symptoms. Once both people involved have recovered and feel more objective about their feelings, then they can try to start a friendship.
But keep in mind, you cannot force a friendship if one of the people involved doesn't want it to happen.
No Contact is to heal from a break up, so you can make better decisions for yourself, based on facts and not just feelings.
Feeling can cloud the brain of true facts, and the reality of a situation.
I have always found it interesting, that after healing, most people don't want their exes back, because now they see the many options, and opportunities, being happy with themselves brings.
Who wants to go back to misery, pain, confusion, and drama.
It lets you start a new life WITHOUT the other person, the idea is not to use it to get back with them, but to just go on, find someone else and get over it.
NC the onlt self-help way to drop a bad-habit. NC = cold turkey.
An ad-lib anecdote:
I got used to [smoking/seeing my girlfriend] everyday before and after work. But now that [I have emphysema/we broke up], I can't anymore, and I have quit cold-turkey because I owe it to myself. It's too hard when [I see people smoking/my girlfriend] because it makes me want to jump back on the wagon, when I know nothing good will come of it. But after enough time passes and [my lungs heal/my heart heals], I know I'll feel better and can move on with life to greater things.
General question here. After going through NC and done with it, like can see the ex dating with another person without stinging, what if the person who is done with NC is still interested in the "ex"? Now way higher chance of getting the ex back?
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