Ok so you have all been following the events of Pete, my unborn baby and I for some time now.
Pete and I have been apart for 6months now and I have given him nothing but space and have been very patient towards him and not pressured him into anything.
In that 6months Pete (himself) off his own back has been to scans with me, talked openly about wanting to be a dad, opened up to me about his worries and concerns, and recently attended parent craft with me. We also talk about out unborn daughter with eachother, friends & family as OUR DAUGHTER, OUR THIS & OUR THAT. Pete even mentioned family holidays etc
We hung oiut together with two of his friends recently who are now also expecting a baby and he was flirting and having a giggle with me just like old times. We can chat for england everytime we meet and Petes parents have said he always seems happy when he has been spending time with me and just being with me - yet miserable when he has not seen me.
There is for definate sparks flying left right and centre between us even after all this time. And he really has worked through a lot of his issues and I am starting to see once again ther Man I fell in love with.
I am reluctant to make any kind of move as I don't want to undo the progress we have made, or make him feel pressured, but want to somehow let him know (in a suttle & ndiscreet manner) that I still love him. Things between us are on the right track, but I want to stay there and keep things moving and progressing! Should I just carry on as I have been, and let things happen naturally?
I think you are doing a great job because you want to make sure his feelings are the same as yours.
It is tough for you to fully guage where Pete is coming from because it may be because of the child. Your feelings you have complete control over are not only for the child but for Pete as well and they are back in full force.
The key is to just give it time. 6 months to a man is like 1 year so he definately seems to be working hard on it. Just keep on having fun with him and not really bring up any feelings so he doesn't close off and let him make the first move. Just be patient.
How lovely to hear from you and how lovely it is to hear that you and Pete are getting along fine.
I personally think its about time you had a little chat with Pete. You have waited and waited and been more than patient with Pete that i think its about time you find out where you stand.
Have a private chat with pete, i know you wont force anything on him but make that clear, no pressue, and just tell him you have a right to know where you both stand as a couple esp with your child on the way.
I think you so deserve this now. Tell him that if he mature enough he should understand why you are having this chat.
<<Have a private chat with pete, i know you wont force anything on him but make that clear, no pressue, and just tell him you have a right to know where you both stand as a couple esp with your child on the way.
>>
hmm sounds a bit forceful ;-) She would be better doing an action....example..
How about for example putting his hand on your stomach to see if he can feel the babys heartbeat...This should then promote an action from him or if he does not feel comfortable you can wait for another time and try again.
Rol, i have been following Holly's story since the begining. She has been very very patient with Pete, i also believed she was too good for him, but as things happened, he slowly slowly came round and starting accepting their baby.
So far so good.
But i still believe she should talk to him, just about them 2 not involving the child, not using their child as an excuse for him to fall in love again, its not the right way and im sure Holly would agree.
She wants and also needs to know where stands with Pete as a partner not a father, as he already said he wud support their child.
yes i agree also she should eventually talk, but would it not be better for him to bring it up, or try to get him to bring it up...plus the fact she is pregnant could make her very stressed if he gives a negative answer....
i would try first getting him to move his hand on the stomach just to see if he pulls away fiercly or if he likes it there which im sure he will. then she can look into his eyes or something like that, and then have the talk ;-)
Hi DJ, Glad to hear from you again. While I'm happy Pete is slowly coming around, and I know you'd love to know for sure how he feels about the future with you, I hope you can curb your curiosity and continue being patient with him. I just feel that any kind of pressure right now would confuse him and push him away. You've made a lot of progress and I would not do anything to throw a wrench in the works right now. Sounds as Pete needs a lot of patients and a slow loving hand, so thats the way I think you should proceed. Be patient and continue going forward. There is no hurry is there, but I know you'd like a resolution. Go slow and let things follow there natural course for now. I think he is doing his best now and the birth of his child will bring reality home to him. Be patient.
Rol, i have been following Holly's story since the begining. She has been very very patient with Pete, i also believed she was too good for him, but as things happened, he slowly slowly came round and starting accepting their baby.
So far so good.
But i still believe she should talk to him, just about them 2 not involving the child, not using their child as an excuse for him to fall in love again, its not the right way and im sure Holly would agree.
She wants and also needs to know where stands with Pete as a partner not a father, as he already said he wud support their child.
I 100% agree with you Krs. In a mature relationship you should be able to speak of your feelings. I believe the advise that you have given to her on how to approach this is appropriate. It is not forecefully or needy.
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