Hi all I am new. I was surfing online trying to find thoughts on my issue and here I am.

I am 28, divorced, and a single mom. So I don't take relationships lightly. To summarize, I am in the beginning stages of a relationship with an old school friend. Ten years ago we were very close, flirted...cute together...and then I ended up marrying someone else. Well I am divorced and we are now becoming close once again only in a much more serious way.

He seems too good to be true. I'm a cynic, I admit that. Our families have been close for our entire lives. Our brothers are best friends, literally, and our mothers are very close as well. We have a history of growing up together, being friends, then becoming interested in one another. Then the gap, and now...here we are, stirring up old feelings in a much more adult way.

The only real fly in the ointment....I do not even know if it IS one. It may be paranoia on my part. He likes to go out drinking with his friends. From what I've seen, it averages once a week. He goes out, gets drunk, goes home (cab or a ride from a friend or walks) and goes to bed. He's not a mean drunk, or abusive, or passing out drunk. I am simply sensitive to this area as a potential for trouble. I know that if we were to become serious I would have a problem with his weekly getting drunk. If it was just weekly hanging with the guys, watching football, having a few beers...that'd be different. But we're both 28 and he admits he "Gets totally wasted." Not what I want to hear. I have yet to say a word about this to him.

I won't get any deeper into a relationship with him if this IS going to be a problem. I'm not totally sure what constitutes a problem? Am I being oversensitive, or is this weekly binge a real potential for trouble? In college he had a major problem, drinking a ton, in private, passing out. He sees his once weekly binges as a huge improvement on college. And it IS...or is it? Should he really be doing this? We're 28, we're adults, and he does want a baby. For me to even consider moving forward with him these things must be dealt with.

So, what does everyone think?

ISneezeFunny

i'd hate to say that he's an alcoholic. what does that make college students?

at the age of 28, yes...it does seem that he may be a bit stuck on "college"...getting drunk every week, but as far as an alcoholic, i don't think he is. if you guys do get closer, i'd suggest maybe bringing it up. my gf was not a drinker, and i was a social drinker...and she talked to me about it. we came to an agreement. i go out with my buddies once a month. i dont get wasted. so yeah. all about give and take.

spitvenom

Drinking once a week sounds like he is just being a single 28 year old guy, I used to go out to bars every weekend until I got into a serious relationship then I just didn't want to go anymore. I wanted to be with my girlfriend more then sitting in a bar listening to my friends tell the same stupid stories that happened 10 years ago and get shot down by every girl in the bar.

Funny enough i would really go out to the bar to meet girls so i could stop going to bars (what a stupid plan!!!!). Then One day i was at a friends house and reconnected with an old friend from high school and now her and i have been together for 3 years we are engaged and i could careless about drinking once a week. Don't get me wrong I still drink but it is usually during some type of sporting event I don't get sloshed or wasted never really did I know when to say when. I have a few beers and call it a night. Hell even my girlfriend drinks during sporting events.

This guys sounds decent enough I think when he has the choice of going to the bar or spending the night with you He will pick you. But if he starts not choosing to be with you and goes to the bar more DUMP HIS STUPID @$$ or you will end up with an alcoholic like my uncle and trust me you don't want that!!!!!! But after all my rambling I say GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!!! Good Luck

LivingtheLifeinFLA

You are paranoid, why did you get divorced?