I've heard good things about this forum and was wondering if anyone can answer my question, please? : ].

What does it mean to play games in a relationship is it bad? I've also heard it's necessary.

peggyhill

I would say that "playing games" in a relationship usually means being manipulative in some way in order to make the other person feel a certain way or do a certain thing. Here's an example: Let's say I get mad at my boyfriend because he was late picking me up for a date. So the next time he is late, I go over and talk to a guy and flirt with him. When my boyfriend finally shows up, he seems me talking and laughing with this guy. So let's say I was doing that so that my boyfriend would feel like "Oh, if I'm not here on time, she might leave with someone else. I'll never be late again." So I used the situation in order to get a certain response from him. That's kind of a dumb example, but I couldn't think of a better one right now, lol.

I think that honesty is always the best policy in relationships. My opinion is that if you have a problem with someone, tell them as soon as possible. So, I try to avoid "playing games" with relationships. As to whether it's necessary or not, I think that totally depends on who you are asking. I know people who do it and it works, others who did it and it totally backfired on them, so that's why personally I think just being honest and up front is best.

EndOfTheRoad

Oh, well that makes sense, how about for the factor of keeping them "interested" as far as.. not picking up sometimes etc.

whatevernext_00

playing games to keep someone interested could involved charming then, but complimenting them all the time and making them feel really good, to charm them round. again this is manipulation as it makes the other person feel good and think oooh yes they really like me, when really they could just be after sex or something else. men are good at playing games and a lot of women are too naive. i dont want to sound stereotypical as many women also play games with men. in other words it could be mind games to try and win someone for the confidence that you can pull whoever you want by charm, they may ditch the person after they win them over. some people see relationships as one big game! i agree with the above, its not the best way to behave, honesty is always best! =)

ihatewestseneca

I think some games are necessary at first to further provoke that initial attraction, mostly in the case of men, cus women aren't all about looks and what not. So some games are necessary, AT FIRST! But later on, if things develop and you really start to care for this person then honesty is best, not only would they appreciate that you're straight with them, but that you wont further confuse them, or manipulate them.

Bottom line: games are okay if it isn't serious, but def. not okay in a relationship.
(my opinion)

Homegirl 50

Any time you play games, someone wins and someone loses. IF you don't ever want to lose, don't play games, they are for children.
Mature people are straight forward and honest in realtionships. They also use common sense.

talaniman

If you have to play games, and work at deception, and manipulation, your not ready for a mature healthy relationship. Playing games is for kids.