Is it over? 8 months together.no contact in 4 days. Long sorry
Asked Oct 12, 2009, 12:32 PM
My boyfriend... if he still is my boyfriend... hasn't spoken/texted/emailed me, in 4 days. We've been together for 8 months and have been very happy. In the last couple of months some 'issues' have come up. He has accused me of being controlling... or pouting until I get what I want, and most recently told me that he doesn't want to 'be' with me much lately because I 'mother' him too much. He can't give me examples on any of these points and has said that 'He loves me so much that he's dealing with it". On all of these points I get upset because I don't want to be controlling... and I don't think I am. I don't want to mother him... and I don't think I do. But he keeps getting frustrated with me... to which I keep getting emotional. I've been on eggshells and trying to figure things out on my own because he can't give me any examples. If I knowingly cross a line I apologize.
It should also be noted that he is the poster child for the Oedipus Complex. He is obsessed with his mother. I used to think they were just close... but after 8 months I can tell its much much more. In fact that is what has led us to where we are now... in my opinion. Sunday his mother 'made him' go do something. He's a 30 year old man... he should be able to tell her 'no'. But... he did it and was furious on the inside. He came to my house and got even angrier... to the point of leaving. The next day he accused me of slamming the door on him and said 'he doesn't want that for himself' etc... we didn't talk/text/anything for 3 days. On Thursday I texted him and we had another weird exchange. Basically I was saying 'lets put everything on the table and give this an honest try' and he was saying 'I think our problems may be bigger than we can handle, and I'm not happy.'. Nothing's been resolved... but I also haven't heard from him since then. I understand guys needing to retreat when problems arise... but this seems excessive.
We really are happy most of the time and are always making plans for the future. Most of which are initiated by him. I do love this man, and I don't want to lose him. But, I really feel like most of the problems are his... I just don't know how to react to them effectively.
So... I guess my question is... is he done? Why haven't I heard from him? If he loves me how can he shut me out like this? I'm so confused.