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I have unfortunately been in an affair for over a year now. Everything was of course, always on his terms. He has recently decided (for reasons unknown to me) that he wants out of the affair. I knew it would eventually come to this, but I find myself left heartbroken and angry. I feel like calling his wife to let her know but am not sure if that is what I should do. If I choose to, how would I go about telling her?
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - don't you understand this guy was using you!!!! You were ONLY the mistress.
Let me guess - he promised he would leave - or he has a really bad marriage - lies, lies, lies. Don't women understand that a lot of married guys will lie, cheat, and steal just to sleep with them - nothing more. They don't care about you.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh - I don't get - that some how they justify that's it's OK to sleep with a married guy.
What a worthless life sneekaing around.
"Everything was of course, always on his terms." - OF COURSE IT WAS!!!! And you beleived every word he said.
I think you should go see a therpaist and figure out why you even considered this in the first place.
It's senseless to even get involved with a married man. You get involved WHEN he shows you the SIGNED divorce papers AND he has his OWN place.
You will get no simpathy here.
Go find a healthy relationship with a SINGLE guy. Hello?
Please don't tell his wife. I know you want to hurt him but because he's such a self-centered jerk, it won't, but it will destroy his marriage, his wife and any children he may have. They did nothing to you, don't tear their world apart. Even if you think the wife should know, she probably already does and stays to keep the family intact.
I don't think very highly of women who do what you did and I happen to know that women like you don't think very highly of yourselves either. However, if you have any decency or integrity left in you, please leave him and other married men alone from now on.
Revenge of this sort is the kind of thing that will wear heavy on your heart for a loooooong time to come. In fact, I believe it will gain you something bad down the road. He has a right to end the affair anytime just as do you. Grow up and own that you didnt know what you were getting into then and now you do. Holy cow! Make this pain count for something in the way of personal growth for youself instead of spreading it around for everyone, innocent or not, to suffer in too. Othewise you are behaving worse than the shabby way he did.
I've been in the wife's shoes before. And if you value any of your self worth, esteem, confidence and future happiness?
I seriously suggest you find something else to occupy your time. If you have to sleep with a married man, then you need to treat yourself a little better instead of putting yourself in a situation where you are vulnerable in aspects you SHOULDN'T be.
When you wake up tomorrow morning, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are MUCH better and worth more than some guy's 'second time around'. Tell yourself that life has much better things to offer than drama, trouble and people who will use you for their own sake.
You will be over him soon enough, trust me. He isn't the only man out there. And please do nothing, if he ended it, it could mean that he really is genuine about sticking with his wife and working things out with her...if that were the case, wouldn't you want that for her? Sure, he's a schmuck for cheating on her in the first place, but its her choice whether or not she sticks with him.
Take care, and good luck. Treat yourself well, and others will too.
I am sorry, but I can't sugar coat either. I was once that wife. My ex cheating with women like you destroyed my life and destroyed the life of my two young children. Not only for a short time of recovery for me, but for the entire lives of my then 2 young boys.
If the wife does not know, but I am sure she does, you will ruin their lives forever. Did you read that? FOREVER!!!!!!!!
You my dear only have a few short months of recovery before you are on to the next man. But the lives of this trusting woman and her children, if indeed there are any, are ruined for the rest of their lives.
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