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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   I need opinions on a possible long distance relationship that started online

 
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Old Mar 25, 2008, 03:24 PM
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I need opinions on a possible long distance relationship that started online

First of all...Hello everyone!!! I haven't been around in awhile, and i hope that things are looking up for those that i used to see here.

OK, i need some opinions and advice. In Nov. i started an online friendship with a guy that i met on a site that is owned by the company i work for. It was just a friendship, nothing more. I was still trying to get over "whats his name" at that time, and couldn't even think of anyone else. .... Well, over the course of that time this new guy and i have discovered how much we really enjoy talking to each other. We had just started out by e-mailing each other, but then we started chatting on IM with our webcams (nothing sexual, just a way to see each other). The past couple of weeks we've added phone conversations to the mix as well. We seem to have a good bit in common and every time we chat we never seem to run out of things to say. He's never said anything out of the way or in any way made me feel uncomfortable.

He lives a little over 400 miles from me which does bother me a bit, but i'm really willing to overlook that. He runs his own business from home, and travels some to be a vendor at various collector shows along the lower East coast. Next month he will be doing a show about 200 miles from me and he has asked if i would like to meet him there to help him out with the show (a way for me to make some extra money), and for us to be able to get to know each other in person.

Ok, so my question is....Should i go? Am i stupid for wanting to?......Give it to me straight....Good experiences and bad. Tell me if i should go for it or if i'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life...Hit me with all that you've got, because i'm trying to weigh the pros and cons here, and you guys have always been so upfront with me, and i really respect your opinions.......I'm just still trying to deal with the fact that i'm actually able to feel anything for ANYONE after that last trainwreck of a relationship i went through!!!!

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Old Mar 25, 2008, 03:37 PM   #2  
Chery
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This is your choice dear.

If you don't go, you'll chastise yourself for missing out on a good possibility.
If you do go, you will either have a good time or bad - but it will at least give you the answer we cannot give you.

Life has no guarantees but one thing I do know, is that if you don't take a step, you go nowhere. If you stumble, you get up and try again - that's just the way with us humans.

Either way, you need reassurance and should give yourself a chance to experience all there is to experience since life is too short to just chat and email for the rest of your life - that's not really living it.

Again, it's your choice to make dear.

Good luck, and keep us posted.


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little firefly agrees: Thanks so much Chery. I think part of me is afraid to try again, but i know i really want to....I hope that you are doing well, i've kept you in my prayers :)
George_1950 agrees: Good advice and blessings to you.
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Old Mar 25, 2008, 05:18 PM   #3  
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Hi Firefly
Nice to see you back :-)

I agree with Chery (again) , I think you should go but go not expecting anything. That way you have a clear mind and if you two hit it off great.

Slowly Slowly

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George_1950 agrees: Good advice
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Old Mar 25, 2008, 05:35 PM   #4  
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hello well its up to you at the end of the day. i guess just take it slow and see how it goes

if you never try youll never know. dont let fear stop you in anything you do


im in a LDR. it can work if you both want it to and you seem like an understanding women so i wouldnt worrie to much.

regards

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little firefly agrees: Thanks TrueFaith. I'm glad to know that LDR's can work sometimes. I'm going to take it slow and just see how it goes :)
George_1950 agrees: Good advice.
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Old Mar 25, 2008, 06:36 PM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
Hi Firefly
Nice to see you back :-)

I agree with Chery (again) , I think you should go but go not expecting anything. That way you have a clear mind and if you two hit it off great.

Slowly Slowly

Hey friend4u....I'm glad to be back...I have to spread some rep around so i couldn't rate you. I'm going to do just that. Go, but not expect, and take everything VERY SLOOWWLY, lol
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Old Mar 25, 2008, 06:40 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little firefly
Hey friend4u....I'm glad to be back...I have to spread some rep around so i couldn't rate you. I'm going to do just that. Go, but not expect, and take everything VERY SLOOWWLY, lol

Good for you......................don't forget to update us :-)
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Old Mar 26, 2008, 05:06 AM   #7  
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The only way to really know someone well is face to face. I suspect you want to see if he has possibilities, but if your expectations are really high, I don't think that would be healthy. Life is about taking risks, and just because things didn't work well in the past, doesn't mean you shouldn't try again, SLOWLY, with eyes wide open. If nothing else it could be a great adventure. Something new and different to experience. Go for it, or you'll never know.

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George_1950 agrees: Good advice
little firefly agrees: Thanks Tal. Yeah, i'm going to take it slow, and not expect...If nothing else, i'll hopefully have a good friend
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Old Mar 26, 2008, 05:15 AM   #8  
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Good luck and I hate to just state the obvious, but let someone in your family know your exact whereabouts.

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little firefly agrees: Thats actually been a concern of mine. These days you just never know, so yeah, i'm going to leave info with my sister, and make sure to have my cell phone ready at all times!!
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Old Mar 26, 2008, 05:38 AM   #9  
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Hi there, Firefly!

I know for a fact that you can become amazingly close with a person through conversation. Online relationships CAN work... so can long distance ones. There is a sense of safety in the fact that you can get to know a person before you meet, but you always have to keep your guard up... because there is that potential of being taken advantage of. It sounds like you are being very smart about all of this and taking it slow.

Before you even said that he was doing a show 200 miles from you I was going to suggest meeting him halfway. That way you both are not in your personal spaces - rather, you'd have decided upon a location and are both willing to take a step and meet halfway (literally and mentally).

I'd go... it sounds like you and this guy have potential - and you'll never know until you take that step of faith. Like George said, make sure your family knows where you are, where you're staying, and when you're leaving, but that's just safety - and I'm sure you already know that.

All I can say is GOOD LUCK, hon! You deserve it! I'm SO happy for you!

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George_1950 agrees: More gracious advice from HC
little firefly agrees: Thank you so much. Yes, i'm going to make sure that my safety comes first, and i'm definitely taking things slow. I want to be sure this time instead of jumping in with my eyes closed! :)
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Old Mar 26, 2008, 05:44 AM   #10  
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The last two posters are so right, as things may sound good over the net, but we can never know. So check things out first, and put your own safety above anything else.
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