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Hello all,
I am a new member of this community . I had come across this community while looking for the answer to my questions.Well to state my problem........i have become a hapless victim of one sided love.The girl i love is already committed to someone else.I love her passionately....its been a week or so b4 i had proposed to her....and she rejected my proposal .she said that she is already seeing someone.My problem is that..even though i am trying to FORGET her..I can't do so,i really can't..it seems impossible for me to do this!!!!Everytime i see her online i just wanna talk to her....everytime i see her b4 me,my heart just longs to get to her ...she is seemingly concerned abt my situation but she shows indifference on face..If we come across each other then we both try to ignore each other...though my heart cries. I think i can't live without her but i also know that she is unreachable....this feeling of helplessness is just killing me...plzzz can neone help???I have even stopped talking to her and i am taking steps to forget her.......BUT I CAN'T..I REALLY CAN'T.....wht to do plzz advice???i am literally on the verge of breakdown...i don't wanna fall in this death trap of depression.....plzzz tell me how to forget her and how to tackle this situation.....i don't find solace newhere....i am even distanced from my friends and parents!!!!! I hate this state of mine.....but I just can't stop thinking abt her.....all my hrs of the day are preoccupied by her thoughts....and the situations get worsened if i see her......i just can't forget her...i love her sooooo very much
I know how hard it is to love someone so much and to find they don't feel the same for you. I'm sure most people have too. Where you two in a relationship or just friends because you wrote that you proposed to her but she said she was seeing someone else? i was just wondering how it is you didn't know that. The best thing for you to do would be to just talk with her openly about each others feelings and try to be understanding of how she feels. If she doesn't have the same feelings for you as you do her the only thing you can do is try to keep your distance from her. things change, and maybe someday she might feel differently about that but don't let the maybes get in the way of your happiness either. Try to move on. don't seclude yourself from your friends and family. being with them will help you to keep your mind off of her. love hurts-no dout about it. but honestly from my experience, time heals all pain. give yourself that time and then when you think your ready, start dating again and i bet you would be suprised.
hi tessy,
i already had some hint that she is seeing someone else,its just that i came to know of it whn it was very late.... i could not control the flow of my emotions.......i am a caring and a very passionate sort of a person...i love her very passionately and that is cause of my sorrow....i don't like to do nethin,whn i am free i just look up to her.....as a remedy i hv started learning guitar,but i do not find ne respite in that either.........wht to do?? i can't be "JUST FRIENDS"......its difficult to bury my feelings....the more i do ,the more pronounced they become........
You need to get a life, and please let me explain. You do nothing but think about her all the time. Why? You have nothing to busy yourself with. School?, work? Volunteer? Going out and doing things that will benefit you.
Third:
By trying to force yourself to forget, guess what your only making matters worse for yourself. You should chalk it up to a new experiance. You had a good time at the time. The past is the past. Are you always going to hold yourself back because you will just end up lonely and miserable and you will not enjoy anything in your life. You need to live each day as if it is a new day.
Fourth:
There is no such thing as cant.
Fifth:
This is a fantasy relationship. This relationship was not real in anyway. Do you want to continue living a fantasy?
Sixth:
Here is the biggest step. To realize this was never real. To realize that this girl was not right for you. To realize this girl is with someone else. To realize that you have no reason to love this girl. Exceptence.
Honestly she was never yours. So how can that thought kill you. It may hurt right now but believe me, the only way to move foward is to except that she was never right for you and the next step is to learn from this experiance. Better yourself. Improve yourself and sometime in the future when you are ready. Or even when you least expect it, you will find that someone that actually loves and cares for you back. Loving somebody that does not love you is just a waste of your time, your health, your sanity. Time to fill up your life, your thoughts with positive thoughts. As I said, use this as a learning experiance. Be thankful and now it is time to let go of this person that you were not even truly with.
but Joe can u tell me how to control my thoughts whn i see her b4 me....or how to control my urges to talk to her whn she is online......u know one thing..i was alwaz lookin 4 an understanding partner and i found that this girl is quite understanding by nature.....it is really difficult to let her go...but i hv no options so i am feeling helplesss.....
do u think its a gud idea if i just approach her again...that may kindle some feelings 4 me in her heart!!!!
u know i feel that my self respect is crushed everytime i initiate ne dialogues wid her on this topic....she is ready to be friends but i can't take her as a friend..its difficult to destroy ur feelings so easiy
You will lose your self respect completlely if you approach her again. Like I said this wanting her to all of a sudden feel something for you is fantasy on your part. You contact her, you approach her for any reason guess what your self respect is lost. You keep holding onto something that is not there. I am here to tell you to wake up and stop putting yourself through this. Its not about destroying your feelings. It is about a reality wake up call. It is about reconizing your feelings. Accepting your feelings and then actually letting go of those feelings. The only way to do that is to keep yourself busy. Volunteering, Working, school. Remember, no contact is important.
you can not force someone to love you. ask yourself, do you want her to be happy? if you love her you do, no matter what, you don't want to have to convince her she should love you. why do that to her, to yourself?? yeah its going to be hard, your going to want to talk to her but don't, not only for you sake, but let the girl live her life! if she loves you she will tell you that. you don't need to convince her of it. and you will survive it. its not the end of the world.
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