One night stands.

cjk888 · Jun 25, 2012, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

So I have been having this debate with a few friends of mine, and honestly I am struggling with this as well. Here goes.

Hypothetical scenario. A man and a woman meet at a bar, they hit it off, they spend the night dancing, having drinks, they go for a walk and they end up spending the night together. The next day they hang out for the day and exchange contact information. No contact is then made. The woman, as most women feel after becoming intimate with a man, feels cheap and let down, she felt there was a connection there. The man...well who really knows how a man feels. The question is why didn't the man make contact? Let's just say for argument sake the women DID send a message thanking the man for the fun time and extending an offer to meet up again (not necessarily just for sex).

If the man wanted the intimate encounter the previous night just as badly as the woman did, why should it matter? If there was a spark there the night before, when did it disappear? Why can't a relationship be built off a night of passion? Why the feeling of doubt and uncertainty? Does giving it up the first night really mark the women with Scarlett letter in this day and age?

the man was nice to her because he wanted one thing, the women took this niceness as a spark. the spark is a load of crap to a man because the spark is when he gets a stiffy lol as soon as he has finished it goes. honest truth from a man, the only way a relationship really starts for a man on a one night stand is if he finds the women very very attractive.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 25, 2012, 08:47 AM

A relationship "can" be built from here and sometimes may.

The issue is that the man ( or the women) may not be looking for a relationship and merely exchanged info to be polite. The fact is, no promise was made about tomorrow, no assumptions should be made as to what the other feels, If sex is something speical and sharing, for one, they need to communicate that and find out the plans of the other before, not after.

They most likely do not know the real status of the other.
Married, in relationship, just broken up or what, and in those cases no long term or even future contact is reallly wanted

In general, but not always of course, men and women few sex differently The man, sex was just the end result of the night, and he does not owe her any further contact.

excon · Jun 25, 2012, 08:55 AM

Hello Bella:

Some one night stands work out, and some long term relationships don't. I dunno why.

excon

Aurora_Bell · Jun 25, 2012, 09:08 AM

So, the best advice is to keep it in your pants or risk being hurt.

FrChuck, in one particular case the implication of further dates WAS made by the man.

Wondergirl · Jun 25, 2012, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

in one particular case the implication of further dates WAS made by the man.

Men on first dates may also have a bridge to sell.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 25, 2012, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

So, the best advice is to keep it in your pants or risk being hurt.

FrChuck, in one particular case the implication of further dates WAS made by the man.

Guys will sadly and often tell the girls about what they want to hear to get them into bed, and at one point the guy may even think it somewhat. But then morning hits, realism hits, Some will even lie ( I know hard to beleive) but they will be music agents, or film agents, or rich, or have great jobs and really be stock boys at Walmart.

NeedKarma · Jun 25, 2012, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Men on first dates may also have a bridge to sell.

While you are correct I have also been the beneficiary of the same feature by the woman. Many do not portray their exact selves on a first date - I think it's just a matter of how far off the "real me" they go.

Wondergirl · Jun 25, 2012, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

While you are correct I have also been the beneficiary of the same feature by the woman. Many do not portray their exact selves on a first date - I think it's just a matter of how far off the "real me" they go.

I've never had the opportunity to be a guy to experience this, but have known a few females who prided themselves on being able to dupe a guy and then disappear.

NeedKarma · Jun 25, 2012, 09:45 AM

Good to know there is gender equality :-).

One night stands.

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