First post

I am married woman been that way for quite a few years. I have a decent relationship and I honestly can say I love my husband. Got married far to young though and I know it, we have children now. Getting to my point, I have met a man who completly takes my breath away. We spend a moderate amount of time together. Dont know and/or dont believe he feels the same, kind of a strange friendship so I am just not sure. How wrong am I? I constantly fantasize about him, I think about him all day. Cant seem to get him out of my mind. I feel sort of guilty for feeling like this at all, but in my fantasies the other man and I would get together. I wasnt looking for this, nor have I ever cheated or ever felt like this for any other man. I dont even know if I have ever been this sexually attracted to my husband. I question myself even telling this other man, to keep the complications of it out of our friendship, i try constantly to shake it off, thinking if I will just stop it then I will go back to normal. I know he(the other man) has to know how I feel, I constantly flirt. My friends question it, and I blow it off as nothing being he is quite a few years older then me. I think my friends believe me. and most of all I have no idea what my husband thinks, I know he knows I care a lot about this man, he knows we are friends. You can just say I am confused! HELP ME!

Saintas

Cut off all communications with this OM , stop seen him, it will not take to something good.
Concentrate about your kids and your husband .
You can do it , it is an effort like quitting to smoke, but you must do this in order to don't put in danger your marriage and all what you have now.

valinors_sorrow

You, dear lady, need a couple of stiff cups of coffee to wake up!! You are on a really slippery slope. Your marriage is in desperate need of a make over. I am not kidding. And how desperate, do you even bother to ask? Desperate to make a woman do some really childish stuff and then LIE about it to her friends. Desperate enough to make a woman casually dangle some thinly disguised crapola in from of her husband JUST to see if she can make him react. That sounds several of my alarms even if it doesn't yours!!

I want to ask you now and sincerely too..... if THAT is who you really are? If there is any decency in you cringing at that, then I tell you what --- call your doctor, call your minister, call anyone you can think of to find the right place to take your marriage concerns. And right now. All of them.

But if that selfish, immature and delusional woman is the real you? -- plan on cheating, now with him or down the road with someone else just as "thrilling." It is the direction you are presently headed, lady. And a few sad years from now you'll probably be here posting about the ruined lives you created and here the damn fool you left your husband for won't even leave his wife!! Oh woe is you. LOL Capice?

Saintas

Maybe this will help more than words:
Listen the lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=...&v=tDWFwmwR8zc

s_cianci

You're a married woman. This sounds like a very dangerous situation. I'd forget all about this guy. You're not being fair to your husband. Suppose the situation were reversed and your husband was very attracted to some other woman the way you say you are to this man. How would that make you feel? You have your husband and that's that. All other men are off limits.

nwsflash

I guess as we move on in life sometimes the grass does look greener on the other side, but alot of the time it is not, its just what we picture in our minds as we only see the good and don't see the faults !!

You are married and have a family, as Val said you really need to get your marriage back on the straight path, there must have been something about your husband that led you to marry him and be with him for all these years and have a family.....The trouble when you have been in a marriage for along time is that some of the fun starts to wear off unless you keep it alive, little things like sending love cards to one another or buying little gifts and saying I love you often....You can tend to fall into a circle where you just look after the kids and cook for your husband and don't really take the time to love one another or see things in one another...

Start making some YoU and your husband Time instead of hanging out with this other guy, if you have a good supporting family, maybe try and get them too have the kids one of the weekends and you and your husband make some you time for you both, if you don't put a STOP to the feelings you have for this other guy you may end up losing it all, your husband the kids and your friends.

Start looking at the things you love about him and why you got with him ! At the end of the day if you really feel there is nothing there you need to have a long sit down and look at the options.

ordinaryguy

Here are a few suggestions for how to title this, since you're not sure:

"About to do something really stupid"

"Wanting what I cannot have"

"Tired of my boring life, looking for excitement"

"Is it OK to destroy my home?"

"Will my children think I'm a slut?"

Does this help? I could come up with several more if you're still not sure.

MJ080177

Thanks for the advice, i cant cut off all ties to this man, I see him most of the days of the week, plus my family is friends with him also and they would know somethings up. Its hard enough to try to disguise my feelings for him when everyone is around, they all know we are good friends and would wonder why the complete 360. I know my husband loves me, I do. I guess he just doesnt love me the way I need, I am not 17 anymore and he incapable of loving me the way I want. This has been an issue long before I met this other man. I have communicated on numerous occasions to my husband what I need from him. He barely pays any attention to me, its like we are best friends. I couldnt imagine living without him though, we have been together so long I am not quite sure where I end and he begins. I just dont know much of anything anymore!

nwsflash

I know that you have said they you and your husband have sat down and talked lots of times about what you need from him and want, but I think you really need to give it another shot talking to him . . Sit down and be frank and honest with him and listen to what he has to say ! I would not bring this other guy up into the convo as this could led to problems for you, but you really need to let your husband know that your getting to the end of the line and feel that unless things change that you can no longer go on the way things are...Make sure that when you are around this other guy, you have always got friends and family around you to stop anything from happening....I really hope that you and your husband can work this out.

tinanation

how much older is this guy? you might want to ask yourself if you are just missing your father. maybe a trial seperation with your husband would help too. while seperated make sure you don't see the older man either. you married young, maybe you just need a fresh look at him that a little missing him time would give you. i wouldn't just chuck your relationship with your husband, afterall there are children involved.