I met this guy a few months ago but I had a boyfriend at the time. I like this boy even though I had a boyfriend, he liked me too. When me and my boyfriend broke up I gave it a little while before I confronted this guy that I liked him. When I confronted him, I made plans for us to do something. When we met for the first time, as singles, we clicked instantly. I met his mom and she told him that she liked me. We hung out the whole night just talking about everything, he shared his feelings with me about his life and me. He said that he liked me with no questions asked. That same day we made plans to hang out at his place because his roomates were throughing a party. Before I even got there, my ex showed up with a girl. However this guy I like was unsure if he wanted me to come up because he didn't want to start trouble. However, I pushed the issue and he let me come over anyway. When I got there we hung out for a little bit with one of his friends. After his friend leaves the room he goes and closes the door and locks it. He then tells me that he really cares about me but he is so confused with his life and who he is that he cant be with me or basically put me on the top of his list for priorities. He tells me that he loves me and the way I am, the person I am, and who he is sure that I will become. He says that I have so much going for me and that I deserve someone greater than he. I said in reply that he has everything I could ever want.
Right now he is in a 6-year program for college and he studies hard to do well. Although, he doesn't know who he is. When he said that he couldn't be with me right now, he also said that he wants me to be there with him through everything however, he cant be with me until he is sure of what he wants because he doesn't want us to be together and then have him let me down. I feel that we really connect, I think that he felt this too. He also said that we must have been lovers in a different life, and that he wishes we were in heaven because we wouldn't have to worry about anything, but love.

So my questions are, What is he thinking? Does he truly love me as he says he does? Should I wait for him to figure out who he is, or is he just saying those things to let me down easily?
I really care for him and I feel as though we should be together and that I could completely satisfy his every need in a girlfriend. It is hard for me though because I have such strong feelings for him and I dont want to wait and get hopes up only to find out that he was just playin me.
What should I do and how should I act towards him?
Please help, I'm almost hopeless over this..

jeffatl

He sounds insecure to me. It looks like he is "fishing" for compliments or validation. Im sure you like this guy, but you dont want someone like that. You need someone that is confident, trusting, and WANTS to be with you. I see guys pull this crap all the time, they act like babies because they are insecure. Just think whats going to happen if you talk to or hang out with other guys, he is going to spring in to "you like that guy dont you"? Tell him to drop the act and man up. Im sure he does "love" you, but he sounds like he has no clue about how to act in a relationship. Best of luck!

talaniman

RED FLAG ALERT,
When people like each other they go thru all types of changes just to be together, you know the I looooove you so much routine. Now after all the lines this guy has fed you, all of a sudden he's not good enough for you. This is:
Player line #1 meant to confuse you, and get the interest going so you can reassure him, and prove how good a girlfriend you can be.

Don't wait for him, why should you? Make sure you keep your eyes open where he is concerned because you may like him, but I wouldn't trust him.

justjamestx

I agree with Talaniman. He doesn't have the love for you in which he speaks. Look for the "actions" of love not so much the word "love", for actions speak far louder than words when it comes to love. The spoken words of "I love you" or "I love you so much" mean nothing unless there are actions of love supporting those words. I would assume that if he had the love for you that you have for him, then his priorites would be a bit different.

momincali

How can any really mature person tell you he loves you after so little time? How can any sane person profess he likes you with no questions asked? Why did you insist on going to this party when he clearly told you he didn't want to start any trouble? Why is it that after your break-up with your ex, you confronted this guy instead of him approaching you?

I think he came to the conclusion that you might be a little more aggressive than he can or wants to handle. I think he likes the idea of you (i.e. he loves the person he knows you will become) but isn't totally convinced.

Don't waste your time on a wishy-washy guy like this. He doesn't know what he wants but wants you to stay within reach so that if he gets bored or something you'll be there. Move on. May I suggest that you just don't date anyone for a while. Get busy with yourself. Hang with your friends, read, start jogging or some other sport. Don't stay home and wait for guys like this to decide whether you're worthy. He's not confused, he knows darn well he wants to have his cake and eat it too. You're young. Let this rebound go.