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Older boyfriend help, please read! Thanks!

Asked Apr 28, 2012, 10:51 AM — 12 Answers
So my boyfriend is older than me 16 and he's 24. We have been together for along time, please don't call him a pedophile. Yet I understand peoples opinions. The relationship can't go anywhere due to the law and my inability to visit, and or see him regularly. My boyfriend has been great to me, & has really helped me through difficult times. Making him mean so much more to me than previous boyfriends. All my friends are not to fond of the idea of myself with someone older and, "creepy" in there mind, therefore they wish all the time that I stop seeing him. I have thought of him as a creepy person at times, but when it comes down to it... He hasn't been a normal 24 year old toward me. I would like peoples advice due to police have recently talked with him about this matter. I've gotten really stressed out again and I don't want to go through this sickness/stress, if I can get advice to help out. Thanks everyone.

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ScottGem's Avatar
ScottGem Posts: 58,583, Reputation: 28375
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#11

Apr 28, 2012, 02:13 PM


Given your answers I'm going to say to tell this guy to back off and come back in 2 years when you turn 18. If you are both still interested then you can take up where you left off. In the meantime, you, especially need to see other people closer to your own age.

Let explain why. First, you are saying that a 22 yr old paid enough attention to a 14 yr old to foster a romantic relationship. That raises red flags. No 22 yr old should pay any attention to a 14 yr old other than what is necessary to do his job. Even if he is not a pedophile (and I'm not yet convinced one way or the other) his behavior is inappropriate and indicates something is wrong with him that he would foster this relationship.

While it might not be against the law to date, if your parents don't approve, then it is against the law. Also,you are not really dating. So saying you have been together "a long time" is inaccurate. I think, like any girl your age, you are flattered by the attention given you by an adult man and are mistaking those feelings. And he should know better then to take advantage of that.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,678, Reputation: 50641
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#12

Apr 28, 2012, 07:40 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by katieangel13 View Post
Been together for about 5 months. Yet known him for about 2 years. I met him one day at work, him being a new employee. I cant see him regularly due to my parents saying it is against the law and such. I go for lunch with him on occasion at my lunch hour.
For his sake separate yourselves, especially at work because if someone has already involved the cops, then someone has observed you and is concerned. Innocent as all this may be he runs the risk of going to jail, and be labeled a pedophile. It will follow him for life.

Don't take that chance, just back off and keep it professional at work, NO LUNCH BREAKS together. You have a few years to wait. DO SO please. Sorry, its the best thing. The right thing for you both.

Bad judgment on his part for sure. And the sad part, your mom, AND your boss can gets caught up in this. Love is not worth the price you have to pay in this case. I feel you though, because its a mess of a dilemma, and get much worse.
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katieangel13's Avatar
katieangel13 Posts: 13, Reputation: 10
New Member
  
#13

Apr 29, 2012, 12:16 PM
Thank you all for your advice and opinions.
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