This odd thing with my ex?!

Exclusive_Cl · #1 May 19, 2005, 04:53 PM

Hey

Thanks for reading this post, but I'm a little stumped on what to do with my ex girlfriend. We had only gone out for a month, which is not long at all, but she wants to keep a line of communication. I agreed, and now we talk on MSN everynight. So she contacts me anytime durring the night, we have a good conversation for ten mins, then she tells me about how much she's partying with certain guys. She starts to bring up specifics about how much fun they have. Names, actions, and it's delievered in a tease sort of way.

Amazingly i find this more interesting then anything else. She ropes me in with a good conversation, then begins to brag? Or does she even realise what she's doing? I want to know, because it would be a good learning tool to find out when a girl really is or isn't interested in you.

I already know that I should stop talking to her all together, but this whole thing has got me intregued. Its like Jeckle and Hide.

Give me your opinion.
Thanks
Carl
ps. sorry for the spelling, gramar

Irishgirl · May 20, 2005, 08:16 AM

I 've seen this kind of behaviour before from myself and other mates! Girls love attention and she probably likes you but its just we dont want you like that anymore but you made us feel good when we went out with you so well probably keep you around. This girl expects you to be there when she needs you so show her you won't to get find out her real feelings towards you. Make her work to be your friend. Miss a couple of calls, e-mails and see what happens. It also depends on whether you want her back or not.

Wildcat21 · May 20, 2005, 10:40 AM

I would shut off contact for a while. I lot of times that makes them go crazy.

IF you want he back you need to stop acting like her friend.

Exclusive_Cl · May 20, 2005, 03:20 PM

Both messages are awsome, exactly what I wanted! I knew that was the case, it's totally interesting. I gonna shut down contact for awhile, see what she does. hahaha This is so funny because it's like she thinks shes the pupeteer, but I just want to pyscoanalyse it, so im going along with it....I'M OUT!

thanks again!
carl

Wildcat21 · May 21, 2005, 11:46 AM

make sure to cut off the conversation. Be unavailable. Don't act like her friend either. And date other gals.

Dreamer · May 23, 2005, 02:22 AM

This sounds like someone I know. I find it rather amusing but pathetic at the same time. It is a very desperate attempt to get attention most definitely. She sounds like she is just pulling you along on a string to get what she needs out of you and then she pushes you away in an odd sort of way, as you said it best.

I also would cut off communication and see how she deals with that. Her true colors and intentions will certainly show after you do that. If she's really interested or not. Only thing is -- if you did begin to date her again, would she pull this same mess? And would you really want to put up with it? I don't think I would, and anyone deserves more than that. Think about it, hon. Good luck to you!

Exclusive_Cl · May 24, 2005, 04:52 PM

Hey
I'm going to cut off contact with her. But i was wondering what would happen if i continued the abuse!? I know that sounds crazy, but what if she starts to realise that she's being selfish about the issue and we can just be good friends...Id never get back with this girl, but who knows what a friendship can do over time. I totally understand the run and wait answer, but i just want to know what would happen?

Carl

Dreamer · May 24, 2005, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exclusive_Cl

Hey
I'm going to cut off contact with her. But i was wondering what would happen if i continued the abuse!? I know that sounds crazy, but what if she starts to realise that she's being selfish about the issue and we can just be good friends...Id never get back with this girl, but who knows what a friendship can do over time. I totally understand the run and wait answer, but i just want to know what would happen?

Carl

Honestly Carl, the chances of her coming around while you remain friends with her is slim to none. If she sees that she can get away with it, she probably will continue to do it. Hence never realize the error of her ways.

"You don't know what you've got til it's gone" certainly applies here, and that would bump her back in to shape in no time.

Of course this is up to you, and if you feel like you need to stick around, then go for it. You can always back away from it later if you feel like it's just one huge vicious cycle. Know what I mean? It's never too late to do so.

Good luck with this friendship bud. She has a lot of learning to do!

Wildcat21 · May 25, 2005, 10:51 AM

Once she puts you in the "friend zone" - you're pretty much done. You can't get that back - Ok?

Exclusive_Cl · May 25, 2005, 03:06 PM

Hey
I took the original advice and decided to stop contact. Its day two ofcourse. I just wanted to say, thank you for your advice. I'm going to try this out.

cheers
Carl