Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    alysun's Avatar
    alysun Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 28, 2008, 01:35 AM
    Obsessed with an ex
    So I am totally obsessed with my ex. Not one hour goes by where I don't think about him. I want hangout with him everyday and never leave. I am so jealous... I don't want to picture him EVER with another girl, the thought makes me cringe every time. I am constantly wondering what he is doing and when he is going to call me. I lay awake at night thinking about him and wondering how I would ever deal with him not being in my life. I can't even imagine it! When we were together I sort of ditched all my friends for him, and now almost 2 years later everything has changed between all my friends. Most of them arnt even friends anymore and everyone is just doing their own thing, so I can't just hangout with my girlfriends to get my mind off him.. (and even when I try, I'm still thinking about him! ) its so bad when I go shopping for clothing I try to buy things I know he likes. Ughhh he wants to still hangout with me as friends but I just can't handle it! Every time I try to hangout with him I end of crying because I just think about how much I want him to be mine. He doesn't know I am this obsessed, he just knows I still really want to get back together. One time I practically begged him to be with me and all he said was "you know we can't right now, its not the right time" but yet he still wants to have sex and kiss me and talk to me everyday. He says he doesn't know if we can get back together and we need to wait and see what happens. He said that he feels that he shouldn't be in a relationship right now, I feel like he's leading me on by saying this. If I didn't have any contact with him I do not know what I would do with myself... what is wrong with me and how do I get over this?! It makes me sick that I'm like this, I hate it.

    HELPP!!
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 28, 2008, 01:45 AM
    Go for one month without talking to him. No calls, emails, texts, or hanging out. When you catch yourself thinking of him, replace those thoughts with something else.

    Ditching friends for a guy isn't a good idea, and now you see why. Most friends will stick around longer than a boyfriend, but not if they are placed on the back burner.

    Make new friends, treat them like they deserve to be treated. Keep busy with them.

    Forget this boy, your relationship with him is not healthy.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jul 28, 2008, 05:19 AM
    Well, by reading your post I can already see why you are still pining over this jerk.

    1. You are still in contact with him. You need to stop all contact with him, no calls, emails or IMs. Everyway of talking to him needs to be stopped.

    2. You are still having sex with him, I'm sorry are you looking to be tortured? You are doing something with him that involves a lot of feelings on your part, no wonder why you're still attached. STOP DOING IT!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 28, 2008, 08:34 AM
    I practical begged him to be with me and all he said was "you know we can't right now, its not the right time"
    That's all you need to know, he doesn't want you.
    but yet he still wants to have sex and kiss me and talk to me everyday.
    That's all he wants from you!!
    he shouldn't be in a relationship right now,
    You don't need a relationship to be used for sex.
    I feel like he's leading me on by saying this.
    Of course he is, he just wants sex.
    if I didn't have any contact with him I do not know what I would do with myself
    You would heal from his abuse and get a healthy life your happy with.
    it makes me sick that I'm like this, I hate it.
    Then cut him out of your life and love yourself more than you love him.
    HELPP!!
    Help yourself by reading the 4 stickies in this forum, and taking responsibility for your own happiness.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 28, 2008, 08:54 AM
    Let's just say you'll never get to the ice cream while you're hiding away in the oven. Metaphorical, but true, nonetheless.

    You are this guy's (many guy's) DREAM girl. A girl who will deliver the goodies and not leave even after being told she's not his "thing". Guys usually have to pay good money for uncommitted sex, but you're making it easy, easy, easy for him.

    If you can't stop yourself from being with him, there is nothing to be done here. The ONLY first step is to officially walk away and break off contact with him. That's all on you. There are no magic tricks to the walk-off, it just has to occur.

    After that, you'll need to get your friends back, or some new one's right away. You'll need shoulders to cry on, people to stand in your way when you are struggling to go give him so more free sex. I'd rather see you having protected one-night-stands than keep torturing yourself over this guy... that is if it's the sex you're craving, too. Best of all would be to put that hobby away, too.

    Let us know when you think you're ready to actually do something and not just talk about it.
    Andrew916's Avatar
    Andrew916 Posts: 182, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 28, 2008, 09:02 AM
    Whether you like to admit or not- this kid is like a cancerous tumor. You have to cut him out of your life! His presence brings you nothing but pain and is preventing you from moving on with your life! Just hang in there you'll get through it OK!
    jpm247's Avatar
    jpm247 Posts: 88, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Jul 28, 2008, 02:04 PM
    I have to agree with all the posts above alysun. I would bet you know that its not a good idea to be around him, but yet you still subject yourself to this pain.

    Id be going mad if I did that with my ex. Its like banging your head against a brick wall, it really isn't worth it. You need to go cold turkey, this guy is a bad drug, and you have to wean yourself off it.

    He's told you he doesn't want what you want, so you should up sticks and bail. I know its not easy at all, but just go one day at a time of no contact, and see if you can get to a week. I know you can do it!

    It really is for the best.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jul 28, 2008, 02:36 PM
    Nothing else to say. You are still contacting him and you are allowing yourself to not move on and be used. That's what is wrong with you.
    Applejacks83irv's Avatar
    Applejacks83irv Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Jul 29, 2008, 07:00 AM
    Dame! Girl! You just a suger mama! To him! Buying and giving him the milk and cookies!. that's not good... he's just your friend for that reason?. hell! Or play the game and use him for your needs? he's not in love! Its lust!. taboo! Baby! But yah! The way I see it the ball is in your court!! What every guy wants? SEX! So use it!. but if you want to be all good and bah bah bah! Tell him he's gay and you deceiver better, and find you a new crush there a lot of guys out there that want a psycho girl friend!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Obsessed with an ex [ 4 Answers ]

Okay so I think I'm totally obsessed with my ex! I find myself begging for him to take me back... how do I stop this? I kind of want to play his game and give that feeling like I'm just whatever about everything, but I don't want him to think that I don't want to be with him. One minute he will say...

Help! Am I obsessed? [ 60 Answers ]

I woke up today full of anxiety and just a general feeling of fear and I think its because I have a feeling that my boyfriend is cheating on me because he's been acting differently lately. He's not as interested in sex as he used to be and he doesn't seem to want to talk to me or be with me as...

Did he even like me? N am I obsessed? [ 3 Answers ]

Hi all, not so long ago I met this guy and we got on great. I mean I really liked him but never actually thought I was good enough for him. We went on our first date a week or so later after meeting which was a total cock up. The meal was great but I so badly messed it by not saying much and not...

Help... Obsessed and Depressed [ 1 Answers ]

Last year I had this teacher that I have thought about everyday since I met her. No I'm not gay and I'm not attracted to her in a sexual way, but don't know why I can't stop thinking about her. I started dreaming about her and now its nothing new. She moved away about 9 months ago and I still...

Help, I'm obsessed! [ 2 Answers ]

If ANYONE can help me, PLEASE do so! I had braces for seven years. It's been three years since I had them taken off, and it has totally reshaped my mouth. Now, I have very crooked lips. My corners just don't line up anymore. So, for the past three years, needless to say, I have had to "reshape" my...


View more questions Search