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Now what?
Asked Jul 21, 2009, 04:15 AM
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147 Answers My ex fiancˇe and I were together for 3 years lived and engaged for the final year. No signs whatsoever she wanted to break up, actually said the night of our breakup she wanted to start having children soon. We went out to dinner where she caused a scene when I asked her to go to a party over the summer with me.( coincidentally the same party a few of my ex's were at last year but I always reinforced that I loved my fiancˇe, but still made the fiancˇe insecure). Back to the dinner, she caused a scene where she started yelling at me, I asked her to stop, she wouldn't. So I got up to go to the BR to de escalate the situation. When I return she is still yelling, the waiter looks at me to intervene, but I told my ex that I had no choice but to leave. I walked home and went to bed. 20 minutes later she comes in the house and kicks the door saying that was the lowest thing I couldve done. She had a cell phone she could of called if she was so worried. She was humliating me and I didn't want to disservice the relationship by arguing. She in a rage said she was going to call her mother and call the wedding off which was in Oct. I figured she might have had too much to drink and was using empty threats. Well she did call her mother , broke it off, and said she didn't want to do it but it was too late, her mother wanted nothing to do with our relationship. Now she wants the relationship over but she still loves and is in love with me, but doesn't want to work it out.. Haven't talked in a month, she hasn't contacted me or my family to apologize for breaking off marriage. I want her back, what do I do now? Just a side note my ex is ivy league educated and an MD.. |
147 Answers
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| I would suggest that you try and move on. I'm sure she is still in love with you. Love doesn't start over night, won't end over night either. She may be educationally smart but it sounds like she made a dumb move. You seem like a nice guy and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Love hurts and there isn't anything that we can do about that. Just be happy with the time you had with her and look at it as a learning experience. I'm sorry that happened to you. Good luck and best wishes ; ). | ||||
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| Thanks for the advice crisluvsu731!... Is it possible to the 180 degrees she has done? Almost like she hates me and I've done nothing wrong.. Is it a game? Last month when I talked to her she told me she was moving to Florida or back to Puerto Rico "as fast as I can".. She has the resources to move and still live very comfortably while she waits to find a job at either of those places.. Come to find out she resigned a years lease at where she currently lives and another year contract where she works? This is contrary to her moving as fast as she can.. I should not call her if she broke off the wedding right?I want her back but not through manipulation.. Could she just be waiting for me to contact her? Sorry for the redundancy.. | ||||
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| Well, it's up to you to see if she changes her mind, but you could be waiting quite sometime, who knows how long. You should just try and move on. If it's meant to be she will come around, if not, then you will be prepaired for it already. I have been in a similar situation and he never came around, and I set myself up, I waited and nothing ever came of it. Just ask your self one question though, is she worth it? I know you love her, but do you want to be with someone who over reacts to little things like that? It could get worse if you do get back together. How old are you? Sorry that I can't offer more advice, but Hope all goes well in your favor. | ||||
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| I'm 35 never even considered marriage until I met her. I was quite happy in my single life. Do you think she resigned a lease to see if things were going to work out with us? Another incident I'm prob reading into is that on 4th of July I get a private phone call at 1230 in the morning. The caller listened for a few seconds and said she dialed the wrong number. I responded by telling her she never asked for anyone, how'd she know. She had a spanish accent. I asked her if the number she was dialing was mine.. Again all she said was she had the wrong number... Never apologetic for calling that late and was somewhat rude.. This was a phone number I recently changed because my ex didn't like former gf's trying to contact me.. Coincidence or plain random? I'm trying the no contact rule but I'm hoping it doesn't backfire on me. Thanks everyone! | ||||
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| It sounds like you're dating a toddler with an Ivy League education instead of a full-grown woman! Are you spoon-feeding her, too? In any case, you should realize that if she's throwing temper tantrums NOW, just think of the possible tantrums she would throw whilst married to you. In front of children. YOUR children. And, she's a quitter! She broke off your marriage after ONE argument! And we all know that quitters never win! You can say she's got her MD all day, but in reality, you're not married to an MD. You're married to a very immature and irresponsible child. | ||||
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| Once your emotions settle your going see her for what she really was and be glad the relationship is over. I hope your not keeping tabs on her nor is still in contact with her. You might think you can't survive this but you can and you will but you have to realize that. Focus on your life instead of hers because your only hurting yourself and prolonging your healing. The emotional wound might be fresh but give it some time heal to heal because it won't happen overnight. | ||||
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| She is a quitter and that's one of the qualities I thought I loved about her.. This wasn't the only fight we've had though.. We wouldn't fight often but as I said she goes into rages where there is no sense talking to her,so the fights were very big ones where one would tell the other to leave the house.. That kind of BS but we would always reconcile.. | ||||
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