So, I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years last September (my story is on here somewhere) and I haven't spoken to her since. She immediately started seeing someone and I've been enjoying the single life since then. It's taken a long time to get her out of my system and I've just been getting to the point of not even remembering what it's like to be with her as well as getting over the whole ordeal (I know, it took a while).
Now, out of the blue she sends me a text message (don't they always come back for something?) asking me if I'm available to speak with her. I'm not the kind of guy who wants to be "friends" with any of his ex-gf's or take an ex back after they've been with someone else in the meantime. I was just going to forget it and not even reply back and just go on with my life as I now want it to be. On the other hand, I still do care for her a lot but my stance on relationships doesn't allow me to consider being friends or getting back with her. She hurt me deeply and I'm not afraid to say that I'm bitter and resentful towards her and I think I always will be. I'm getting to know myself and one of my faults is that I can hold a grudge.
Hmmm. This is a hard one because I bet that you're curious.
Interesting that she contacted you just as you were starting to get things together, eh!
You're still feeling, by your own admission, bitter and resentful. You don't want to have contact with her because she hurt you.
I'd say no. Don't do it. What is there to gain? It's like pulling the scab off a wound that has almost healed. Do you really want to re-live all that angst again?
Get on with your life. She's in the past - you can only go forward.
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I say you have every right to be bitter. I'm not saying it's healthy, I'm saying it's a right. I think you were just about to break completely free of her and in order for you to do that you should continue doing what you are doing. Let the message go and do not contact her.
6 years is a long time. What probably happened is she and her boyfriend split, and she is calling her old flame (you) looking for a rebound guy. I say like the rest, to let it go. Or at best, let her know that you're not interested. If you know that you don't want her, or the drama that comes with her, don't get caught up in a huge mess.
If you really fear as bitter and resentful towards her as you say you do, then you're probably best off not responding to her at all. Continue to work on yourself (which it seems like you've been doing) and understand that bearing grudges will hinder your attempts at future relationships.
Okay, so she sent me the text on monday night and it's wednesday now. I know that I definitely don't want to speak with her and I don't wanna know nor do I care if she's thinking about getting back together again. For me, that ship has sailed and I can't do it, even though I still have feelings for her. I'm beginning to feel like this is one of the most important decisions I'll ever have to make in my personal life and it's pretty hard.
I'm just wondering what her motives are. On one hand, it would be nice to know that she wants to get back with me. But, the only reason I feel this way is because I want to reject her for my ego's sake. On the other hand, I kinda feel like she wants to alleviate some of her guilt because she knows she did some messed up s--t to me. I feel like this would come at my expense because hearing her voice (if this is the case) would probably set me back 1 or 100 steps from where I was even a couple of months ago.
I haven't replied to her text and it's probably going to stay that way. It's funny how after some length of time, a lot of peoples stories on AMHD come full circle, isn't it?
Okay, so she sent me the text on monday night and it's wednesday now. I know that I definitely don't want to speak with her and I don't wanna know nor do I care if she's thinking about getting back together again. For me, that ship has sailed and I can't do it, even though I still have feelings for her. I'm beginning to feel like this is one of the most important decisions I'll ever have to make in my personal life and it's pretty hard.
I'm just wondering what her motives are. One one hand, it would be nice to know that she wants to get back with me. But, the only reason I feel this way is because I want to reject her for my ego's sake. On the other hand, I kinda feel like she wants to alleviate some of her guilt because she knows she did some messed up s--t to me. I feel like this would come at my expense because hearing her voice (if this is the case) would probably set me back 1 or 100 steps from where I was even a couple of months ago.
I haven't replied to her text and it's probably going to stay that way. It's funny how after some length of time, a lot of peoples stories on AMHD come full circle, isn't it?
Stick to your guns.
While rejecting her might be an ego boost,it would also make you a party to game playing and you sound like you are the kind of guy who is above that.
Like you said earlier,it may also cause to to back step and then you are giving her power.
It just isn't worth it in the long run to jeopardize your hard work.
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