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Originally Posted by chris28 ok heres my story and i no its going to make me sound like a big wusss but i just wanna be honest with myself from now on. |
Being honest with yourself is the furtherest thing from being a wuss.
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Originally Posted by chris28 I am 28 and my girlfriend i guess ex now is 22 we have been dating for 2yrs months we have out normal difference and arguments we are pretty different her mother makes excellent money and is able to buy her anything she wants pretty much. so shes use to alot of high end things i make a ok salery 56, 000 and cant keep up with alot of that stuff and it is a strain on me that i can do that when i no thats whats she need or is use to. |
Let’s cut the BS. She’s a spoiled. That being said, do you live in NYC or something? Because $56,000 is good salary, especially (I’m assuming) with no child expenses to pay for.
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Originally Posted by chris28 That's only one small part of it i mean thats not always on my mind but enough to start a fight over it now and than. others things are arguments over things she does that gets me mad and me doing things to spite her you no the little games that are played sometimes. The last few weeks i feel like theres something different in the way we interact with each other and talk and hang out. For example she can stay out all nigt when she with her friends but iif were not doing anything like movies eating or constantly moving she wants to be around other people or go home. |
She’s doing or did in this case what is called letting herself down easy. She saw the break up coming and instead of just ending where by she would have a void she kept you around and slowly let herself down emotionally.
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Originally Posted by chris28 And that all makes me think and then the money thing comes in to play and we arguee.. |
Even though she is spoiled this had nothing to do with money and more to do with you second guessing yourself all the time. You let your insecurities drive your arguments and if you start an argument with a woman based on your own insecurities she’s going to take notice, and to be honest you got off very lucky because most women would actually use your own insecurities against you. If you tell a woman that you not good enough then at some point she’s going to start saying to herself, “If he says he’s not good enough, then why not find somebody who is?”
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Originally Posted by chris28 Today i picked her up from school and we went to the farms she slept the whole way up there and we bickered a bit. while there we boughtthings for her friends i made a comment are we getting any money back for this and she started with a attitude and that got us into a argument |
Okay I’m confused here.
First why would you even say such a comment? It makes you look insecure and greedy which is not going to be attractive to her.
Second, why is she using your money to buy her friends gifts? Tell her to spend her own money. It’s like you want her to be happy so you offer her as much money as you can, but then you get mad at yourself so instead of facing your own issues of insecurity about the money issue you get mad at her friends of all people, who probably don’t even realize this is going on.
The issue is with you and in this regard you have to quit being the “big wuss” and put your foot down and say, “I’m not buying it” or “If you want so and so to have that pay for it yourself.” Women are going to ask you questions like this at various times just to test you and see what they can get from you anyways. You don’t have to be a prick about it, you just have to say “No, I’m not buying it.”
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Originally Posted by chris28 so after speaking about it for 10 mins i asked is it ur not happy and thats just it and she said no and i kept going on like i wanted her to say thats shes not happy. After a but she did say that she does not see a future with me and so on. And how she is miserable sometimes and how shes in love with me and all that. we finally got to the point were we were broken up. And it was by her now we have a 2hr ride home we were talking crying and all that. |
Believe me, I am not trying to mock you for this but you can not cry in front of a woman over a break up. It’s not right, but they think it means your weak and it makes you look bad in their eyes. If she already doubted the relationship as we know she did, having a emotional cry with her ex wasn’t going to bring any kind spark back that she would want.
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Originally Posted by chris28 So now she said were better as friends and i told her i cant to that it would be to hard on me and she said ok but i wanna still come to the dr appt with u on friday i have to have some stiches taken out. |
Why would she want to come to that?
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Originally Posted by chris28 I also said no to that cause it is really going to be hard. Most of my friends moved far away a few of them overdosed on drugs and the rest i dont no were they are so her friends were pretty much my friends so i really dont have noone to talk to i made friends with like 15 guys and girls from there. and anway not only do i not feel ok talking to them still ecspecially about her. |
Well, I don’t encourage holding everything in, telling her friends is never a good idea and I agree with you that it would only bring more drama to the situation.
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Originally Posted by chris28 I dont wanna pull family in yet cause im to upset.. soooo i dont no what to do how to handle this or even how am i going to stopp myself from calling were do i turn..
Sorry for the long unmaly story any advice would be great |
Well I think you have to NOT call her. She wanted the break up so you have to honor it. At this time find some short term goals and start striving towards them. Start working out. Take your focus off of her.
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