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My boyfriend and I were talking, and somehow the topic of my hair came up; first things first, I am african american and native american-usually I get confused with every race in existence besides white. Regardless, I do have nappyish/ more so curly hair. Usually right after I was it it is curly but, if I come it out its an afro. Anyways, my entire life I've been a little conscious about my hair as I grew up around latinos and caucasians with long hair either straight or curly or wavy. Only up until I began to befriend other black females such as myself did I feel comfortable about it and not so ashamed and embarrassed. Like most black females we been conditioned to think straight is the only way to go as it is most beautiful and what not. Well, Ive been watching Tyra and one of my best friends is black--she wears her hair all natural; she wears it well and people dont seem to think negatively about it. I want that freedom too. Washing, blow-drying, hot-combing and straightening all for it to sweat out in a few hours is tiring. Sometimes I want to braid it so I dont have to spend hours doing it. Recently Ive been thinking about just growing it out a few inches longer so I can wear it all natural, but my boyfriend says he prefers it straight and he likes it better that way. He is obviously not black so he doesnt understand the issue very well. It also upset me because it puts such a restraint on my hair versatility. He doesnt like when I braid my hair, but its like "dont you know" we braid it so it can grow instead of damaging it from daily endeavors. I feel like he only thinks im beautiful if my hair is straight and I dont like that. I want him to appreciate our cultural differences and not think im any less attractive than other women simply because my hair is not long and straight. What should I do? I dont want to perm, Ive had it before and it severely damaged my hair. Should I just wear wigs and weaves the entire time? I used to be comfortable with my hair around him, and now I definitely Im not. Any advice?
Let him know how much you have to do and go through just for a couple hours of straight hair, if he doesn't understand, or at least try to understand it seems like he is only looking skin deep.
i have red wavy hair,its sometimes coarse and needs at lot of condition.
but i love it.
your friend wears her hair with confidence, thats what you need,a little bit of hair confidence...wearing it straight or something something differant for a special occasion is nice, but the hassel of styling every day is time consuming.
as far as your boyfriend is concerned, i bet he does not have to spend hours trying to sort out his hair!
your head,your hair, if he wants a girl with long flowing locks tell him to call tyra banks,see how well he gets on!
I think you should do whatever makes YOU happy.
If you want to experiment with your hair I would. If it ends up being easier, then stick with it.
If he loves you, then he would love you even bald.
The photo below is "fuzzy" she is a musician and TV presenter in Australia...
She is really popular and to be honest... pretty darn cool...
What makes her "her" is her hair!
Make your hair a part of your personality, show it off don't be embarrassed by it!
If he has a problem with that then that is his problem, not yours.
I have really thick uncontrolable locks. By my choice, I had a short hair style for quite some time. I started to grow it out, and friends and family were not so used to the change at first, but again this was my choice. Lately, these same people have been giving me complements. See, I think people dont like change, or the unknown. Try it your way for a time, you may find that you look great with your natural hair. The best thing about hair is if you dont like it one way you can always change it.
Im sure your bf wouldnt like it one bit if you told him that he had to grow, lets say, a handle bar mustash instead of his clean shave because thats what you prefer. Right?
Okay, so I understand that I should do whatever makes me happy, but I want him to still think Im attractive--the apple of his eye and what not. I know he would still "love me". Can I ask the men, what is your take on the situation? What would you do or say to your wife or significant other if they told you that they were going to cut there hair, color it, or alter it in any way. Would you tell them no, because you like the way they look presently, would you actually tell her you wouldnt like it, and it would be less attractive. I mean its not like im cutting it all off you know. I really cant help that my hair take soo much time and effort to maintain in a straight style. I accidently slipped up and said to him that the only thing that would enable me to be have a relationship with an african american man is the cultural ties, and the understanding. Since he's not black, I feel he doesnt understand. And it kills me because I can only complain to him saying "Oh my God, my hair is too much for me, I have other things to do!"
This isn't a cultural thing. It is a Male thing. Men through the ages have not understood what women go through to put their hair in some of the most ridiculous styles just because They like it. A lot of men don't know what they want. I have known men who swore they loved women with long hair. They dated only girls with short hair. Fix your hair the way you like it.
My hair is long and straight. Even when it was shorter it wouldn't hold a perm. My husband loves my hair, but IF I chose to cut it off and dye what's left yellow and orange (he might question my sanity), he would support my decision because I am the one who has to deal with it day in and day out. Yes, we have discussed it.
How many headaches do you get just from all that tugging, brushing, etc.? Wouldn't he prefer more time with you than you spending that time with your hair?
Isn't this the guy you have been having problems with? I don't think hairstyles are the biggest problem in the relationship.
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