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Well guys, I've had a little relapse and I don't really feel to great about it although I didn't buckle. So the ex calls me tonight, havent talked to her in a little while. We have small talk and all that stuff and then she tells me how she's been going out and partying and stuff and having a great time! Even though I decided not to get back with her it really kinda hurt me. I even told her that she could go out with other guys and it wouldnt make me jealous and she was like oh really?? I played it cool even though I was sitting there thinking how we just broke up a few months ago and this girl is already having the time of her life acting like we never even went out! I acted like I didnt care even though it does hurt! I know it's none of my business what she does but right now my head is spinning! lol I know I probably shouldnt have answered, even though the last time we talked I had the upper hand. I thought I was over it but I guess I'm not!
I believe you are both playing games with each other! she broke up then wanted you back, then trying to act tough you didnt want her back, now you are annoyed she is going out and having fun, i reckon she is also pretending that " she tells me how she's been going out and partying and stuff and having a great time"
Why not just be honest and communicate properly, why tell her "that she could go out with other guys and it wouldnt make me jealous"
oh copperhead don't worry. I feel good sometimes and bad other times. I too had times where I thought I was over it. I have another hurdle though, it is my ex's birthday tomorrow and people in my work are going to a party/night out tomorrow with him. They mentioned something about it briefly but luckily I didn't hear any details. The thought of it just made me feel sick, like who was going to be there, is he with another girl etc etc. Sometimes the less you hear about your ex the better, otherwise it opens up wounds again. Sounds like she just wanted to call and boast about how good a time she is having, she probably did that to make herself feel better. Maybe it would be best if you don't answer next time.
I think Wap and Rol covered this one pretty darn good.
I don't know, if she really is having the time of her life and chooses to boast to you, then she falls on the insensitive side.
If she is just saying that to make you feel bad, then like Rol said, she's playing games, that's not good either.
Like Wap said, next time, don't answer.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes we think we kicked the darn thing and then get a little reminder that we need to work just a little harder on us.
By the way, and this is only a suggestion - Have you seen the Open Letter to your Ex thread? Take a look at it and you will see you are not alone and may want to write one yourself.
I'm sure your head is spinning and all of it is quite normal, the trick is to get it to unspin. Best way to do that is try your best not to overthink about her.
<<I even told her that she could go out with other guys and it wouldnt make me jealous and she was like oh really?? I played it cool >>
i mean seriously, she can do what she wants now if she is single, you did not want her back, remember?(i dont blame you either , as she seems to be the complete gameplaying type)
why tell her she can see other guys and you wont be jealous, especially when you dont mean it!!!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????
If you want her back, let her know. Sometimes we must swallow a little bit of pride if it means getting something that we truly want. I only say this because she did indicate that she wants to get back together with you. You turned her down, which probably made you feel strong and possibly a bit vindicated at the time, but if that wasn't what you truly wanted, rethink things and tell her the truth now. Don't go back to your old possessive ways. I think you have learned that lesson the hard way. But don't take the independent thing so far that you cut off your nose to spite your face. Do you know what I mean? Stop with the games. I suspect she may be playing one with you too. But how far will it go on? You act like you don't want her, she acts like she doesn't want you, etc. Then who wins?
It's all good! Really her going out like that just makes me want her even less. I was just caught off guard last night but really for some reason when I hurt now it just makes me want to push her even farther away. Definately not get closer. Anyways, I'm cool. Have a great day!
The grieving process (and subsequent recovery) after a break up really is two steps forward and one step back. You still make progress and the bumps do get less and less often or dramatic. Bumps can be unexpected contact, surprising news (good or bad LOL)that wrangles, memories that jump out of things you forgot to avoid, anniversary dates like the first birthday without them, etc. This is a time for the silly motto "easy does it" and I hear you, Copperhead, falling right in step with that -- so I say BRAVO!! You have plenty of time to get in good shape, and are taking the necessary steps. Just be mindful until then that you are susceptible to some things (like a rebound relationship - not good) and well, be careful with you. Grief makes all humans a little crazy for a while.
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